


Bury My Love in the Moondust

by ang04e



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Domestic!Supercorp, F/F, SO MUCH FLUFF, So Married, SuperCorp, Supercorp baby
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-09
Updated: 2018-05-20
Packaged: 2018-10-16 23:51:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 23,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10582056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ang04e/pseuds/ang04e
Summary: Kara and Lena Danvers have been happily married for two years. But one year ago, Lena Danvers was shattered by events out of their control. Ever since then, Kara has done everything she could to make her wife whole again.With Alex's scientific expertise, Kara gives her wife the one gift that would make her happier than anything in the world. The gift of motherhood.





	1. Mrs. and Mrs. Danvers

**Author's Note:**

> First Supercorp fic! Let me know what you think.

As Kara stares at her sleeping wife, she’s reminded of the day two years ago when Lena Luthor shed the last vestige of her painful past and became Lena Danvers.  Lena’s porcelain skin was radiant in the sunlight that day, just as it is now with the morning light pouring into their bedroom through the sheer curtains. Kara is so deep in her daydream, thinking of her wife effortlessly smiling in her ivory wedding gown that she doesn’t notice Lena’s bright emerald green eyes flutter open.

“Good morning, darling.” Her voice is thick with sleep - the low and husky version of Lena’s voice that drives Kara wild. Lena knows this well, and certainly uses it to her advantage on occasion. Lena knows all of Kara’s weaknesses by now, just as Kara knows hers.

“Happy anniversary, babe!” Kara throws her arms above her head in a victorious gesture, tightly closing her eyes and turning her face upward toward the ceiling. Her smile is enormous – as bright as Lena has ever seen it.  With her arms still outstretched she carefully falls into Lena hitting the mattress with a thump, and hugs her tightly. As tightly as she allows herself anyway.

A sharp squeal from Kara makes Lena flinch, a tiny giggle escaping her chest. Lena adores her wife’s childlike joy. It’s contagious, even for an anxiety ridden worry wart such as herself. Kara stands up on the bed one foot on either side of Lena’s hips, careful not to step on her sleepy wife. Kara is always like this on holidays and birthdays. She can barely contain herself, almost bursting with happiness.

“Thank Rao, you’re finally awake! I was so freaking excited, I couldn’t wait for you to wake uuuupppp!” For a moment, Kara is so jittery, Lena is sure she’ll start jumping on the bed. It wouldn’t be the first time.  Instead, Kara stills and falls deeper into Lena’s arms this time, her lips gently meeting Lena’s neck, slowly moving up towards her lips.

Lena’s tired voice hums into Kara’s mouth, her smile breaking their delicate kiss. “Mmmm… Happy Anniversary indeed, my love.” Lena nuzzles into Kara’s neck, inhaling deeply. The familiar scent of Kara’s hair fills her senses and she closes her eyes tightly. As she does every morning, Lena silently speaks to a higher power she is sure probably doesn’t exist, thanking it for her wife.  It’s almost as if she’s afraid if she doesn’t voice her gratitude to any higher power that’s out there, her life with Kara will suddenly be snatched from her and she can’t bear the thought. The powerful CEO will worship at the feet of anyone and anything just to keep this life she’s been given.

Kara raises her face slightly above Lena’s, gently brushing a section of Lena’s brunette locks from her eyes. Lowering her mouth to Lena’s ear, she whispers gently. “I have a surprise for you. We need to be at the DEO by 10.” 

Intrigued by the mention of a surprise, Lena groans in faux annoyance, though part of her does wish she and Kara could stay in bed all day. They both had been working so hard recently that time together had been difficult to come by. Any time they have a moment to themselves, Kara is called to the DEO to deal with an alien problem, or Lena has to attend some emergency negotiations for a new defense contract with the U.S. government.  She doesn’t need presents, or surprises. Lena wants nothing more than to spend the day in Kara’s warm, strong arms.

“What is the surprise, Kar?”

“Nope. I’m not telling you.” Kara shakes her head back and forth violently, as if to emphasize the importance of the surprise. Her lips are squeezed tightly into a thin line.

Lena’s hearty laugh fills the room.  “Yes you will Kara. You always get too excited and give it away. Last year you gave me my birthday present an entire month early for god’s sake!” 

Kara groans, throwing her head back in embarrassment. “Okay but that was different. This one is too important to give away. I am Fort Roz. Nothing gets out of me.”

“Darling….didn’t all the prisoners escape Fort Roz?”

Kara playfully smacks Lena’s arm, interrupting her laughter with another kiss. “Babe, I swear to Rao if you don’t go get ready right now, I will throw you in the shower myself!”

Lena playfully snakes her fingers up Kara’s sides, making her shudder.  Lena’s voice is low as she grins suggestively at her wife. “Is that a promise?”

* * *

 An hour later, Kara and Lena sit across from each other sipping coffee from their respective Mrs. & Mrs. mugs.  Lena peeks up from her steaming beverage with a slight smile.  “Sweetheart, before we go, can I give you your surprise?”

Kara squeals with delight. Of course she wants her surprise now. What a silly question. Kara Zor-El Danvers absolutely _lives_ for surprises. Especially the gift kind. Kara nods enthusiastically, her smile so stretched it looks like it must hurt. If Kara could hurt herself anyway.

Lena picks up her phone and dials.  It’s clear the person on the other end was expecting the call.  “Hey Jess! Yes, we’re ready. Come on up.” 

“Jess. Jess is my surprise? I mean…no offense, I love Jess but….”

Lena rolls her eyes, laughing.  “No, Kara it isn’t Jess. She’s bringing a friend.”

As if on cue, Kara’s ears catch the distant footsteps of Jess coming up the stairwell to their apartment. The footsteps are accompanied by a metallic jingle Kara can’t decipher. She listens intently, noticing strange panting breaths. _Jess isn’t that out of shape is she? I thought she worked out like five times a week? I wonder where she actually goes on her lunch break if she’s not at the gym? Oh. Oh Rao!_

Kara screams and begins jumping up and down in front of the door. “IT’S A DOG YOU GOT ME A DOG WE HAVE A DOG!” She picks Lena up effortlessly, spinning her around the room. When Kara sets her down, Lena catches her balance and smiles at her wife’s excited screams.

 

“Dirty cheater.” She winks to make sure Kara knows she’s not upset about her using her super hearing to guess the surprise. “I know we’ve been talking about it for awhile and I think with L Corp slowing down a bit, it’s finally a good time. One of us will be home enough.”

 

“Thank you thank you thank you!” Kara tears open the door before Jess can even knock. Jess jumps with surprise, stumbling backwards and tripping over the thick red dog leash.  Kara speedily catches her before she falls, but reacts slowly enough not to arouse suspicion.

 

Kara can’t even greet Jess properly before she’s drowning in puppy breath and sloppy kisses.  A tear escapes the corner of her eye as she tightly hugs the squirming golden retriever in her arms. Kara wiggles too, imitating the tiny fireball’s erratic movements. Kara suddenly realizes something, her face dropping in concern.   _Oh crap. This surprise and my surprise is all too much at once._

* * *

 

As they walk into the DEO hand in hand, Kara senses Lena’s nerves emanating from her fingertips. Even after two years as a Danvers rather than a Luthor, Lena still isn’t sure everyone within the walls of the DEO trusts her. She always feels incredibly uncomfortable under the stares of every agent, except Alex.  Her relationship with Alex started less than exemplary, with Alex threatening to choke her with her own intestines if she harmed a single hair on Kara’s head. But over time, they’d both come to understand that they share something in common – an immense love for Kara that overpowered all things. With that understanding, Lena and Alex became true friends.

When Alex meets them at the door, she hugs Lena first. A little tighter than usual. Lena notices the bounce in Alex’s step, and wonders what put it there. As Alex smiles brightly at her sister in law, Lena’s head tilts in slight confusion. She looks at Kara, who won’t meet her gaze. Instead, Kara rambles like she usually does when she’s nervous.

“Holy crap Alex, we got a puppy and I named him Harry Pupper and he’s so cute you have to come see him he’s amazing and already so smart and did I say cute?” The words spill from her mouth with barely a pause or a breath. Kara’s excitement at finally getting a dog has clearly not waned in the time since they’d left him at the apartment with Jess.

Lena and Alex exchange a knowing glance.  Of course Alex was in on the secret.  She turns to Kara, not needing to fake excitement.  “Awww, my first nephew. How about Maggie and I stop by for dinner to meet him?” 

Kara nods enthusiastically, before remembering why she’d dragged her wife from their warm bed to the cold sterile halls of the DEO. She glares intently at Alex, who snaps to attention.

“Lena, I want to discuss something in my lab. Follow me please.”  The harsh thunk of their steps echo in the hallway, as Lena nervously squeezes Kara’s hand. She’s legitimately terrified, mostly of the unknown. After all, she’s in a secret government facility following a woman who had once threatened to murder her with her own entrails.  They reached the lab, and Kara held the door open for Alex and Lena to pass through.  Alex gestured to a pair of chairs in front of her desk, wanting Lena and Kara to take a seat.

“Forgive me for being too inquisitive, but what the hell is going on?” The concern is evident in Lena’s face.  The DEO isn’t exactly a place of pleasant memories for her. Any time she’s been here its been to get briefed on the latest evil plot championed by her estranged mother, to comfort an injured Kara as she bathes under the artificial yellow sun bed, or most recently to come pick up an inconsolable Alex and take her to the hospital when Maggie had been shot in the leg by a fleeing perp. She’s never here for a happy reason.  Truthfully, Lena didn’t want to be here now. But Kara seemed so excited, she hadn’t questioned it.

Alex smiles, reaching for Lena’s shoulder. She squeezes it firmly, taking a sharp breath in before speaking. “I have such good news Lena. After a year of trying, I’ve finally figured it out.”

Lena looks back and forth between Kara and Alex, both of whom are smiling like idiots. “I’m sorry, I’m lost. Figured _what_ out?” 

“You and Kara can finally have a baby. I’ve mastered the technology necessary to fertilize your egg with Kara’s Kryptonian DNA.”

The news hits Lena like a brick. She’d given up on the idea of ever becoming a mother. She trembles and her eyes fill with tears, but she says nothing. Did she really hear Alex say she can have a baby? Is this a dream? Even the mention of a baby is too much for her heart to take.

Kara moves to kneel in front of her wife, firmly grabbing both of Lena’s hands from her lap. “Lena, please say something. It’s okay if you don’t want to do this. I just wanted you to know we can when you’re ready.” Alex senses the two need privacy, and silently sneaks out of the lab without a word.

The tears spill from Lena’s eyes, and a guttural sob from her chest.  She leans from her chair, falling into Kara’s arms below her. Between sobs, she shakily gets out a few words. “You…you said you’ve been trying for a y-year?”

Kara runs her fingers through Lena’s hair and she holds her against her chest.  “Yes. Well after…you know. I couldn’t stand to see you so heartbroken and I asked Alex to see if she could help us become parents.”  The heaviness of what Kara didn’t mention lay thick in the air. It had taken so long for Lena to shake the sorrow from that day that Kara was too afraid to mention it. Scared that she’d speak the sorrow back into her wife’s heart. Kara rocked silently, holding Lena as her sobs shook her body. Lena remembers that day last year as if it just happened. The pain rips through her chest as she thinks of the days she spent broken on the floor of what should have been her child’s room. 

 

* * *

 

Kara and Lena spent the first year of their marriage going through the process of adopting a baby.  From the beginning of their relationship, both Kara and Lena expressed an intense desire to adopt for obvious reasons.  Both were bound and determined to give a child a happy and loving home – Kara because she was so grateful for the Danvers doing that for her, Lena because she didn’t want another orphan falling into the hands of a cold, unloving family like the Luthors. After being matched with an expectant mother, Kara and Lena spent 8 months attending all the prenatal appointments. They both cried at the first sound of the child’s heartbeat during the ultrasound, and spent countless hours preparing a nursery in their spare bedroom together. They agreed to name the little girl Alura, after Kara’s mother. When the day finally arrived, Kara and Lena were both buzzing with excitement and fear. They arrived at the hospital only to be greeted by their adoption coordinator blocking the doorway to the hospital room. She had only pity in her eyes, and Lena knew. The mother had changed her mind. It was something that was always a possibility, but the two were so invested in the idea of Alura that they never allowed themselves to consider it.  Then, like now in the depths of the DEO lab, Kara held a crumbling Lena in her arms on the floor.  She vowed then she would do anything it took to give Lena the motherhood she so deeply desired.

She’d called Alex right away.  So soon, she was still sniffling and choking back tears.  As she explained, Alex firmly told her she’d make it happen.  It was how Alex dealt with the grief she felt for her sister. For the niece she lost. For a completely broken Lena. She channeled all of her anger and sadness into developing a successful IVF technique that could combine human and Kryptonian DNA.  She’d thrown herself so deep into it, that it even put a strain on her relationship with Maggie. Maggie felt neglected by all of Alex’s late nights in the lab.  But much like the fights over Maggie’s detective work, they worked through it, and no one was prouder than Maggie that Alex had kept her promise to make Kara a mom.

 

* * *

 After a while, Lena’s eyes open, her breath still shaking from crying.  “I can’t believe you did this for me. How did I get so lucky?” She closes the space between her lips and Kara’s mouth as fast as she can, wanting to feel her wife’s lips on hers. But Kara’s laugh interrupts.

“I told you I could keep a secret!” Kara winks as she lifts Lena back into a chair, gently wiping the tears from her flushed face. With her hands on either side of Lena’s face, she whispers intently, never breaking eye contact.  “You know I would go to the ends of the earth or any other planet in any galaxy to give you what your heart desires, my love. Now tell me you’ll have my baby.”

Lena frantically shakes her head up and down, unable to contain the huge smile breaking through the tears. “Yes. Yes. Of course I will.”


	2. My Salvation

**I never meant to fall for you but I**  
**Was buried underneath and**  
**All that I could see was white**  
**My salvation**  
**My salvation**  
**My, my**

 **You are the snowstorm**  
**I'm purified**  
**The darkest fairytale**  
**In the dead of night**

For a moment, the only sound in the room is the frantic scrape of knives and forks on dinner plates as the Danvers sisters and their wives sit around the old oak table.  All four are leaning deeply into their plates, eating with speed and fervor usually unique to Kara.  It’s been such an intense day for all of them that it seems as if they’ve inherited the Kryptonian’s insane appetite.  Kara’s mouth is pressed into a thin straight line while she chews, her bright blue eyes narrow at Maggie. 

Without breaking her angry stare at Maggie, Kara leans toward Lena still shoveling food in her mouth as she tries to talk. “Babe, I think we need to kick her out before I melt her face.  She doesn’t like Harry Pupper. WHO DOESN’T LIKE DOGS?! MONSTERS, THAT’S WHO! My sister is married to a monster!”

Lena smirks, gently biting the insides of her cheeks in a desperate attempt not to laugh.  She knows by now that Kara loves to bask in her dramatic faux-rage.  Kara gets so tired of being stoic and reserved as Supergirl, she can be a bit dramatic at home.  Stifling a chuckle, Lena pats Kara’s leg beneath the table “Don’t worry sweetie. Despite outward appearances, our friend Maggie here is a complete and total sucker. I’m sure she and Harry will be inseparable in three days or less. In fact, I’ll bet you one hundred dollars she’ll be the first to volunteer to dog-sit him.” Kara giggles and nods, knowing her wife is probably right as always. Yeah, Lena’s right. But Kara is competitive down to her core.  She never backs down from a bet, even a losing one. 

“Okay, Lena you’re on. Can’t wait ‘til you have to give me $100 to buy that gourmet donut maker you said we don’t have room for.” Lena’s exaggerated groan drowns out Kara’s giddy laughter.

Maggie clears her throat loudly, interrupting Kara and Lena’s moment. She wonders if her sister in laws have always been this gross. Of course they have _._  “Look guys, he’s totally cute. Dogs are fine. I’m just saying I like cats better okay? No offense, HP.” She looks apologetically under the table to where Harry fell asleep waiting for someone to drop food. Lena is pretty sure Kara used her super speed to sneak him bits of her dinner unnoticed until he passed out. 

Next to Maggie, Alex rolls her eyes and playfully shoves Maggie’s shoulder.  “Okayyyyy, we get it. You’re a lesbian.” The entire table dissolves into laughter, and Alex is relieved by the light moment.  All night she’s wanted to bring up what happened at the DEO earlier in the afternoon.  But Kara and Lena seem so emotionally exhausted that Alex thinks better of it.

Maggie rolls her eyes at Alex’s jab. She’s used to Alex’s cat lady taunts by now.  “Oh reaaaally Danvers? Was it my love of cats that gave that away? Or was it the fact that this morning we……” 

A tiny yelp escapes Kara’s lips as she drops her utensils onto her plate.  “Okaaaayyy Maggie I don’t think I want to hear what you and my dear sister were up to this morning. Oh my. I - I think you killed my appetite. Do you know how hard that is to do? This may be a first. Oh Rao. Am I dying? Is this what dying feels like?”

Just then Alex’s phone rings loudly, startling them all.  Kara is grateful, since the sharp noise distracts her from the gross vision forced into her brain by Maggie’s comments. Alex looks down at the glowing screen of her phone. 

“Shit. It’s Jonn. Kara, we need to go.”

As Alex walks away to answer the call, Kara looks apologetically at her wife.  Lena often jokes that Kara purposefully times these emergencies for after meals to avoid doing the dishes, so Kara’s keenly aware of leaving Lena with too much to do.  Lena nods, knowing her wife has responsibilities to her city.  As tough as it is to always let her go fly off into danger, she is so proud of her wife and wouldn’t change her role even if she could.  

“Go, darling. Maggie and I can take care of this and we’ll see you when you get back.”

Kara smiles and leans in to gently kiss her wife. “I love you. Don’t let Harry miss me too much.”

As Kara grabs Alex and heads out the window, Lena yells loudly behind her.  “I’m sure he’ll miss the spaghetti and meatballs you’ve been sneaking him!”

* * *

 

Lena looks up from the television and clears her throat to catch Maggie’s attention. They’ve been marathoning House Hunters for hours waiting for Alex and Kara to return from whatever DEO mess they’re cleaning up. Lena speaks nervously, averting her eyes from Maggie’s gaze on purpose. “Maggie, I’m sorry.”

The confusion is obvious on Maggie’s face. “Lena, this show is fine. I said you could pick what we watch. I mean, yeah these people are annoying as shit with their ridiculously high budgets and inability to see past ugly ass wallpaper, but it’s fine.” 

Lena’s eyes close as her head shakes back and forth. “No. God no. I’m not talking about the show. Earlier Kara told me that Alex always working on the baby project all the time was hard on both of you. And I just want you to know that I understand both of you sacrificed for me. For Kara and I. We’re both very grateful. I hope she ” Lena blinks rapidly to keep tears at bay. 

Maggie wordlessly flings the throw blanket off her legs, venturing over to the other couch next to Lena. She wraps her arms around Lena, her hand holding Lena’s head on her shoulder.

“Lena, you don’t have to apologize. You deserve this. You both do. Plus I’m gonna be such a cool aunt, you have no idea.”  Lena laughs and sniffles at the same time, hoping she doesn’t dissolve into tears.  She has a reputation for being a crier, and everyone always lightheartedly makes fun of her.  Last game night, she teared up at a toilet paper commercial with puppies and she hasn’t heard the end of it since. 

Lena returns Maggie’s embrace and pulls away quickly, dabbing at her eyes.  “Thanks Mags.”

“It was all Alex’s genius. But don’t tell her I said that. If you do, I’ll have to kill you.”

 

* * *

 

When Kara finally returns home, she finds Lena asleep on the couch with Harry curled up in her arms, his tongue sticking out ever so slightly.  Instead of carrying her wife to bed, Kara sneakily squeezes next to her on the couch, careful not to squish the snoring Harry.  Kara pulls the cashmere throw blanket over them, enjoying how close they have to be to fit together on the couch.

Without opening her eyes, Lena nuzzles into Kara’s neck.  “God, I missed you” she mutters groggily.

“I missed you too. Are you okay? I know it’s been an emotional day. I probably shouldn’t have sprung that on you like that. It’s been hard for you since….s-since the adoption fell through. I just didn’t want to tell you until I was sure it could be done.”

Though Lena’s eyes are still tightly closed, Kara can tell by her face that she’s thinking hard about what she wants to say. 

Lena whispers so softly that if not for super hearing, Kara might miss what she says next. 

“It’s so funny, you know? I spent most of my life not wanting kids. Not wanting to be a mother because I didn’t think I knew how, and I was so sure I’d screw it up.  And then I met you.  The second you came into my life, I realized that my heart was capable of so much more than I thought.  I couldn’t wait to have kids with you.  And for awhile after the adoption mess I tried to convince myself that it just wasn’t meant to be. It broke me. I was so broken I didn’t even realize how hard you were working to put the pieces back together.” 

Kara strokes Lena’s dark brown locks, her nails gently scratching Lena’s scalp just the way she likes. She’d done it every night for months after they left the hospital without their baby girl, mindlessly running her fingers through her wife’s hair while she cried. Kara had always kept her tears in until Lena was long asleep.

Kara pulls back and gently places a hand on each side of Lena’s face.  “Lena Danvers, you’re so strong. So strong. And you put your own pieces back together. It’s one of the things I love most about you. I just helped figure out how to get the very last piece to fit. We’ll have that last piece soon.”

“Soon.”  Lena sighs deeply, once again burying her face in Kara’s neck. For the first time in a long while, Lena sleeps soundly. No dreams of an empty crib. No waking up bathed in sweat, mourning the life she’d planned to give a child that was no longer hers.

Instead, she dreamt of her watching her wife rock their future daughter to sleep. Lena woke up with a smile. Happy anniversary indeed.


	3. Baby Danvers' Origin Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara and Lena start to make crazy science.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my beta A for all the wonderful help! I promised I wouldn't make you wait too long, so here we go.

Kara pulls the couple’s pristine white Tesla into the parking lot of the DEO’s clandestine office building with one hand on the steering wheel, while the other is resting on her wife’s thigh.  It isn’t often they drive places – both because Lena employs a driver and because Kara can fly -  but when they do, Kara insists on driving Lena.  Driving gives her a sense of normalcy she doesn’t often get.  Plus, she’s sure her super reflexes make her a better driver than Lena, though she’ll never dare to say that out loud.  She gives Lena’s leg a gentle squeeze, then shifts the car into park and pulls the keys from the ignition. As Kara turns to open the car door, Lena suddenly grabs her arm before she can get out.  

Lena squeals excitedly, shaking Kara’s arm with her own.  “Kar, I just remembered! You owe ME $100!” Her face falls immediately as she remembers her winning means Kara losing. “I’m sorry about your donut maker.” Lena presses a soft kiss to Kara’s cheek as consolation. 

Kara smiles shyly, dipping her chin towards her chest. “Yeah yeah, I knew you’d win. That’s why I took the bet.  So what will you buy with your winnings hmmm?”

“It’s a secret.” Lena winks, slowly running her fingers through Kara’s golden tresses until her hand cups the back of Kara’s head. She pulls her in gently for a slow, lingering kiss. Kara nips Lena’s lower lip just before pulling away from the kiss despite Lena’s sigh of objection. 

 “Let’s go babe. Alex is dying to nerd out over the science with you. She hasn’t stopped texting me about it all day. Maggie made her get out of the house early because she couldn’t stand to hear about it for the 4,000th time today.”

“Alright, darling. As you wish.”

 

* * *

 

For the first time since the anniversary surprise, Lena and Kara are back in Alex’s cold, sterile office.  Maggie had offered to stay with Harry Pupper while Kara and Lena met with Alex at the DEO. She was fast asleep with him on the couch before they even left the apartment. Last time they visited Alex's office, Lena was nervous…practically terrified. Now she’s buzzing with excitement, eager to discover the technology that would give them a biological child. She’d been up half the night thinking of possibilities and running through scenarios.

Alex clears her throat, bringing Lena back from her thoughts. “Three words. Primordial Germ Cells.”

Lena’s face lights up with recognition, and she gestures for Alex to continue.  “For the last few years, scientists have been working on technology to allow two same-sex parents or infertile couples to have a biological child. I’m sure you’ve read about it in all the scientific journals.  As you know, researchers have been able to make PCGs from stem cells. Given the appropriate stimuli, PGCs eventually mature into eggs or sperm that contain the original stem cell donor DNA." 

Of course Lena knows all about it.  Last year’s spring issue of Geneticists Today had an in-depth story on the various failed attempts to fully generate functional reproductive cells from stem cells. “That’s right.  From what I remember reading about the Israeli study, no one has managed to spur the PGCs into maturity to allow for the fertilization process.”

“Exactly” Alex stands up from her desk and begins pacing back and forth in front of Lena and Kara. “But I think I figured out how to get PGCs with Kara’s Kryptonian DNA to fully mature.”  Alex notices Lena’s mind at work, so she pauses to allow Lena a moment to formulate her thoughts.

Lena’s forehead is scrunched up, and Kara has to resist the urge to make a crinkle joke.  Lena teases her about that a lot. “Well, obviously I already have eggs, so I assume we somehow take stems cells from Kara to create motile PGCs with her DNA? How do you plan to spur maturity in the PGC’s? Let me guess…  harnessing the photonucleic effect?”

Alex nods, impressed with Lena’s deductive abilities.  She wonders how much faster she could have formulated this plan if it hadn’t been kept a secret from Lena ‘Ted Talk’ Danvers. 

“Right. Just like when we draw her blood, we’ll need Kara to blow out her powers to harvest her stem cells.  Once they’re in a petri dish, we’ll develop them into PCGs, then use a yellow sunlamp to exploit the  massive power of the photonucleic effect  in order to allow the cells to mature enough to become motile and be able to fertilize your - ” 

Lena aggressively interrupts, instantly irritated with the suggestion that her wife go through the experience of blowing out her powers again.  “No, absolutely not. She can’t blow out her powers. I can’t stand to see her do that. To be in pain. I know how bad it was when Lillian forced her…f-forced her to do that. No!”

Lena begins wringing her hands aimlessly. When her mother kidnapped her to use her to break into Lex’s lab, she painstakingly described Kara’s pained screams to make Lena squirm.  Lena can still hear her mother’s voice in her head _.  She slumped lifeless to the ground afterward like the weakling she is_. _How you can love someone so pathetic is beyond me._   Lena’s hands begin to shake, but are immediately stilled when Kara moves to cover them with her own. Kara’s soft whisper brings Lena back to the present.  “Babe. You’ll be carrying our child for months…that’s a huge sacrifice, especially with you running L-Corp. Blowing out my powers for a few days is the least I can do. I promise it won’t be like the time with Lillian. And I’ll have you to nurse me back to health.”

Lena closes her eyes and rubs her temples firmly, leaving Kara’s hands to drop to Lena’s lap. Kara’s fingers run back and forth across Lena’s thighs to comfort her, and Kara can feel the warmth of Lena’s skin underneath her neatly pressed slacks.  As much as Lena would love to keep arguing, she knows Kara will win this argument.  And besides, it’s the only way.  “Alright fine. But how does implantation work then, Alex?”

Alex’s eyes drop to the floor as she smirks. “Um. The old fashioned way.”

“Excuse me?” Lena’s eyes are wide, like saucers. She’s hoping Alex isn’t about to say what she thinks.  She does not want to have this visual while sitting in front of her sister-in-law.  

Alex can barely contain her laughter as she responds to Lena’s request for clarification.  “A…um. Haha. A turkey baster. Bette and Tina style.” 

Lena’s mouth drops open in surprise, but she quickly catches herself in an effort to maintain her composure. “Oh…my.  That seems so…undignified for such a technologically advanced process. I assumed...well, I don’t know what I thought.” Both Kara and Lena let tiny smiles escape their mouths, remembering last year when they watched that episode of the L Word. Kara had laughed hysterically imagining ways to make the situation less awkward and more romantic.  Lena distinctly remembers her wife sarcastically saying Bette and Tina should have drawn hearts on the turkey baster.

After allowing Kara and Lena to regain their composure, Alex continues. “Obviously you know that since the PGC’s are made with Kara’s DNA, a female embryo is the only possible outcome with all X chromosomes at play.  I can work on something for the future to see if we can alter chromosomes from Kara’s stem cells to create the possibility of a boy. But for now, I can’t help that. However, what I can do is genetically modify the cells to select things like eye color, hair color…”

“No no. Thank you, Alex. But I think we’d prefer our baby girl just as she is. We don’t want to genetically engineer any traits. We talked about that before when we were deciding between donor IVF and adoption.” Lena’s eyes water at the mention of the failed adoption.  Even now, facing impending motherhood, the loss a year ago still aches deep in her heart.

Alex notices the heaviness in the air and immediately continues in order to avoid lingering on a painful subject.  “Okay then. I think we’re all set. Based on your bloodwork, I think timing wise Kara should blow out her powers a week from today That will give me a few days to get the PGCs to mature before implantation is necessary. Unless you want to wait another month?”

Kara clears her throat and blinks rapidly.  “We talked about it, and I think we want to get started. Just in case it doesn’t work the first time. We’re ready.” Lena nods in silent agreement. 

“Okay, group hug!” Kara stands swiftly, yanking her sister and her wife towards her with a little more fervor than she intends. “Sorry, sorry. I’m just so EXCITED! This is me excited!”

Their suffocating hug is interrupted by J’onn yelling from the next room. “Can you girls calm down please, your excitement is giving me a headache! And Lena honey, you’re worrying far too much. Take deep breaths!”

Lena is worried. Not because she doesn’t have faith in Alex – she does. But because she’s afraid to fall in love with another baby that may not come to pass. She’s not sure she can bear it again.  She’s worried about her wife blowing her powers again.  Even though Kara says its fine, she knows it isn’t. She’s scared of a superhuman pregnancy. What if the baby of steel accidentally punches its way out? As irrational as it is, she can’t shake the thought of Sigourney Weaver in Alien. Perhaps they shouldn’t have watched that last week. 

“Speaking of worries, I do have one last question Alex.”

“Shoot.” 

“Obviously we’re going through with this regardless, but I assume the baby will possess Kara’s abilities to some degree.  What does that mean for the pregnancy? For me?”

“Unfortunately, we’ll be learning that as we go.  This hasn’t been done before, so there’s no way to predict how it will all play out biologically speaking.  But I promise you’ll get the best care from the DEO.  I won’t let anything happen to you.”

Kara’s chest swells.  She’s always known that her sister loves Lena, but it’s nice to hear the care and concern in her voice.  Eager to get home, Kara leads Lena from the office, with her hand firmly on the small of Lena’s back.  As she reaches the doorway, she turns back to her sister.  “Alex? Thank you so much. For everything. And please don’t ever use the words ‘turkey baster’ in front of me ever again.”


	4. Solar Flare

**"I've never had family like you. No one's ever stood up for me like that."**  

When it comes to the DEO, Lena doesn’t usually involve herself at all, let alone make aggressive demands regarding their operations. She doesn’t want to interfere in her wife’s work. Kara is entirely capable of handling herself as well as DEO business, and of course Lena doesn’t have any sway there anyway – not like she does at L-Corp.  But when it comes to this, Lena makes a necessary exception.  The day before Kara is to blow out her powers, Lena marches to the DEO after a quick call to J’onn, moving with a fearless sense of purpose she’s never exhibited in DEO halls before.

As she walks in his office, Lena shakes J’onn’s hand firmly. Dominantly.  She stares intently into his eyes as if she is trying to bore holes in him with her non-existent heat vision. Her form fitting red dress matches her authoritative anger.  “Director, I require the presence of everyone involved with tomorrow’s solar flare. I must speak to them.”

J’onn doesn’t dare deny her what she asks, but not because of her intense and commanding demeanor.  He knows that is nothing but a calculated effort to conceal Lena’s true feelings. When he’s near Lena, he is overcome with her thoughts – pure, overwhelming fear.  The threat of losing Kara is very real to Lena, and it terrifies her almost to the point of being utterly distraught.  J’onn more than anyone understands the unending pain of losing family, and certainly doesn’t begrudge Lena for trying to zealously protect the love of her life. His eyes are warm and kind, and he places a firm hand on her shoulder.  She breathes a sigh of relief when he replies.  “Of course, Lena. Give me a moment.”

While she waits for J’onn to summon the necessary personnel, Lena tries to comfort herself with thoughts of science and logic, as she always does. She’ll do anything to avoid thinking of her wife rendered powerless and in pain.

 _Kryptonian‘s cells are suffused with solar radiation and a solar flare is merely a rapid expulsion of that energy through heat vision. That’s it._   _The cellular levels of solar radiation will quickly regenerate and everything will return to the status quo. It’s just a simple exercise in temporary energy transfer through heat. Simple science._

True to his word, J’onn only takes a moment to gather everyone in Lena’s presence.  Lena’s unsure what the staff expects, but they look a little scared.  Her breath is heavy and her jaw is clenched tightly as she paces slowly in front of the assembled group. Her gaze alternates between the floor and the mass of white lab coats in front of her.  

“As you are all undoubtedly aware, Supergirl will undergo a purposeful solar flare tomorrow.  I want you all to guarantee to me that the solar flare will be accomplished in the least damaging fashion possible.” 

A small quiver in her voice betrays her confident demeanor as she continues.  “I want her pain effectively managed and if any permanent harm comes to her, you’ll answer to me. Are we on the same page?”

Lena is satisfied with a chorus of quiet _yes ma’am_ s from the group, even though they are all too intimidated to look anywhere but their shoes.  Like everyone else in National City, they know about the sordid past of the Luthor family. They’ve read articles about the CEO with the commanding presence and ruthless business acumen.  The woman in front of them matches the powerful figure they’ve read about.

Lena knows she needs to wrap it up quickly before her facade crumbles.  “Please….just protect her. That’s all I ask of you.”

She turns from them to leave without another word, her heels clacking loudly against the concrete flooring. When she’s no longer within earshot, she exhales deeply, her stern composed look quickly melting away. _No one can take Kara from me.  Everything else I’ve ever loved has been destroyed.  Not her. Not Kara._

* * *

They’re tangled tightly in the sheets, so tightly even Kara struggles to get free. Lena has a habit of thrashing about when she dreams. The nightmare last night was the worst in a long while. The worst since she stopped waking up screaming for Alura – the baby who was so wanted, but would never be theirs. Like she has many times before, Kara spent the night hours holding her wife tightly, trying to soothe her sleepy cries. Each time Lena would fall asleep, she cried out for Kara, who repeated the same mantra over and over in hopes Lena would believe it _. I’m here. You’re safe. We’re safe. I’m here. You’re safe. We’re safe._

When Lena finally wakes up for good, her eyes are puffy and her voice is hoarse.  Unable to muster the strength to really speak, she whispers into Kara’s ear. “I dreamt you were hurt, and I couldn’t do anything to help you. Please, I don’t want you to go.” She wraps her arms tightly around Kara’s middle, as she peppers her face with small kisses.

Kara turns to face her, taking her wife’s face in both of her hands. She strokes Lena’s hair gently, smiling in an attempt to reassure her.

“Sweetheart, I’ll be fine. You don’t need to worry. You know I’ve done this before and it all turned out fine.”

“And _you_ know I’m going to worry anyway. I always do.”

“I know. That’s why I’ve arranged for Maggie to come hang out with you and Harry today while Alex is with me at the DEO. She says she’ll bring you Thai for lunch. And that disgusting kombucha from Whole Foods that you like.”

Laughing softly, Lena leans in to bury her face in Kara’s neck. She’s so close that Kara can feel the flutter of her eyelashes each time she blinks. She’s blinking quickly, so Kara knows she’s trying not to cry.  She always tries to blink the tears away, though it rarely works.

Lena’s voice cracks.  “Always trying to protect me, even when you’re the one who needs protecting.”

“Well babe, if I recall correctly, years ago I promised I would. I’m just keeping my promise.”

Kara gently lifts her wife’s chin, guiding her in for a slow, deep kiss. She can feel Lena’s desperation in the way she firmly presses against her entire body as their lips meet.  Lena is eager and hungry to replace her fear with the bliss of their entangled bodies and her wife’s touch. But they both know now isn’t the time. Kara has somewhere to be.   

Pulling away from the kiss reluctantly, Lena lays her head on Kara’s chest.  “Can you tell me exactly what’s going to happen? I feel more comfortable if I know the process.”

Kara runs her fingertips gently up and down Lena’s back as she explains the events of the day.

“Alex has prepared a safe room at the DEO. It’s fire proof, heat proof, all that.  In it there’s a military-grade solar panel capable of safely and effectively absorbing my heat vision without causing an explosion. I’ve asked Winn about harnessing that solar power to be transferred communities where it’s needed, he’s working on it. Maybe  you can help him, that’s right up your alley.  I’ll exhaust my powers, and as soon as I’m done, Alex and the rest of the team will enter the room and take me to the solar lamps to recover. See? Easy as pie. Oooh, pie. I’m hungry. Are you hungry? How about I make us some pancakes really quick before I go. We still have that gluten free mix you like.”

Lena laughs loudly as she nods her head in agreement. _Of course Kara changes the subject to food._  

* * *

 

Lena keeps glancing at her phone, then Maggie’s. Back and forth. Back and forth. Waiting for any news about Kara. Maggie keeps making small talk to distract her from the agonizing passage of time without a call.  Empty Thai food containers are scattered on the coffee table, with Harry Pupper staring at them longingly from his perch next to Lena on the couch.

Much to Lena’s exaggerated disgust, Maggie burps loudly without any attempt to stifle it.  “God Luthor, kombucha really is disgusting. I thought Kara was just exaggerating as usual.”

“I thought you of all people would appreciate it, Ms. vegan ice cream.”

“Alex will never let me live that one down, will she?” 

“Well, you know the Danvers sisters and their affinity for all things caloric.”

“Hey, at least your wife has the metabolism of a literal alien.  Mine is probably going to give herself high cholesterol before she’s 40!”

The women laugh until the shrill ring of Maggie’s phone shatters the lighthearted moment.  The screen reads “Alex Danvers” and Lena’s breath catches in her throat.  She wordlessly gestures for Maggie to hurry up and answer, spinning her hands in a circle motion in front of her chest. Harry looks up in confusion at the two women, startled awake from his nap by the phone. 

 “Hey Danvers. How’d it go? Your sister done microwaving all the pizzas in the world with her eyeballs?”

 “Tell Lena that Kara’s resting under the solar lamps, and I’ve successfully extracted the stem cells required. Everything is fine. I should have viable PGC’s for implantation in the morning. They’re maturing quicker than I thought they would.”

Maggie puts the phone on speaker, and asks Alex to repeat herself for Lena’s sake. 

“Okay if everything went fine, then why do you sound mad? I know you, you’re mad.”  _Of course Maggie picked up on her annoyance.  She always does._

“Rather than rest under the lamps here for the next few days, Kara wants to go home to be with Lena.  I just don’t think it’s a good idea. She can be adequately protected here.”

Lena butts in urgently. “Alex, you tell her she absolutely has to stay. I mean it. I want her safe and under guard. You know she’s a target right now.”

 Maggie nods, addressing Alex again.  “Look, I agree with both of you, but babe you know you aren’t stopping her. She won’t listen when it comes to Lena.”

 Maggie can hear the click of a door on the other end of the line, followed quickly by an exasperated groan from Alex.  “God damn it! Her bed is empty. Kara, you little shit.”

* * *

 

As soon as the door to the apartment creaks open, Lena rushes to the exhausted blonde shuffling through the doorway, Harry Pupper bounding close behind to greet his mom.

“Kara Zor-El Danvers, how did you get here? Why didn’t you listen to Alex? You need to be at the DEO!” Despite the apparent anger in her voice, Lena gently supports Kara’s weight, slowly walking her to the living room.

“I’m fine.  I took a cab. I just couldn’t be away from you. I figured you would worry less if I was here with you. Plus you’re a better nurse than Alex. Don’t tell her I said so.”

 “Only you would escape a secure facility to take a cab home.  Darling, we don’t have sun lamps set up here. You’re going to recover slower!”

“It’s okay. Alex or Winn can bring some lamps over tomorrow when they drop off the vial of PGCs.”

Pushing aside her frustration at her stubborn wife, Lena hugs Kara gently, as if she’s afraid she will break under her touch.  She expects it to feel different, but it doesn’t.  It still feels like home.

“I’m not made of glass you know. You can hug me like normal. The only difference is now I don’t have to hold back. I can hug you as hard as I want.”

“Let’s get you to bed, Kar. You need to rest until those lamps arrive tomorrow.”

“Okay babe. But can you order some pot stickers from General Tsao’s? I’m hungry.”

Lena rolls her eyes, incredulously.  _Of course the appetite didn’t leave with her powers._

By the time Lena goes back to the bedroom, a tray of pot stickers in hand, Kara is fast asleep. HP is curled into the crook of her legs, both of them snoring ever so lightly.  This night, Lena is the one to stay awake, hovering over her sleeping wife, waiting nervously until morning when Alex will arrive with the sorely needed equipment.

* * *

 

The solar lamps hanging over the bed are warm, and they make Kara’s skin tingle. It’s a weird feeling for someone who’s exterior is usually bulletproof.  Despite still being fatigued and powerless, Kara is giddy with excitement, practically bouncing off their bed.

“Come on! I don’t want to wait!”

“Kara, you haven’t had sufficient time under the lamps yet. This can wait until later.”

She huffs and puffs, feigning anger. Her face turns mischievous after a sudden realization. “Oh Rao. No we totally have to do this while I’m still powerless. It will make it more…fun…for me. I always have to hold back when we’re together, and now I don’t. Come onnnnn. Make a baby with me.”

Lena’s conflicted feelings are written all over her face.  She’s desperate to be with Kara, as always. She’s desperate to start their family. But above all things, she wants Kara safe and reunited with her powers as soon as possible.  She thinks for a moment, all of these feelings fighting for supremacy.

“Can we at least do it under the lamps so your cellular radiation levels keep increasing?”

“Mood lighting at its finest. I like it. I’ll go get the turkey baster.” She laughs as she scampers toward the kitchen where a DEO cooler was delivered earlier in the day.

Lena throws a pillow after her, and buries her face in her hands, slightly embarrassed. They were adventurous sure, but this was just…different. Lena is nervous, knowing that their chance to have a baby girl – a true scientific miracle – rests on a crappy kitchen utensil. 

* * *

For a few moments, the only sound in the room is the ragged breathing of both women, trying to come down from their orgasm-induced high. 

“Babe that was incredible. We should…we should do this more often” Kara moves to wipe the sweat trickling down her forehead.

This is a new feeling for Kara. She’s never had to exert herself making love to her wife. With her powers she can go forever, never getting fatigued.  She used to think that was a plus about being Kryptonian. But now she realizes she may be wrong.  There’s something immensely satisfying about completely exhausting herself for the sake of giving her wife pleasure. Pouring all of her energy into the total satisfaction of the woman that she loves more than anything in the world. To her own surprise, Lena enjoys the experience more too. For once, she doesn’t have any nagging worries in the back of her mind about accidentally broken fingers, or devastatingly large bruises that couldn’t be explained away. She can give Kara everything she has without fear.  They can completely give in to each other and their desires, with no other distractions or thoughts.

Between heavy breaths Lena laughs, covering her face with her hands. “I agree wholeheartedly, that was absolutely amazing. But now this is weird. Don’t look at me, this isn’t sexy.”

 Lena’s legs are sticking high in the air, her butt elevated by several pillows.  Articles on the subject insist that this helps the fertilization process, but she just feels like an idiot. The awkwardness of the moment is such a stark contrast to Kara ravaging her body just minutes ago, pleasuring her until her body shook uncontrollably.

 “Mrs. Danvers, you look beautiful as always. And you know I’m a sucker for your amazing legs.” She runs her fingers up and down both of Lena’s legs, making her squirm slightly. She plants a kiss on the inside of each thigh.

 “Mmmm…so how long do I have to lay here like this?”

 “I think I read 30 minutes is optimal. But I like this view, sooooo I’m gonna go with all day.”

 “Ughhh. Babe, I’m hungry. Can you grab the pot stickers from the fridge? Then we can both ‘Netflix and Sun Lamp Chill.’ You still need another day until you get your powers back.”

“Okay first of all, I cannot believe you just made a Netflix and chill joke. I didn’t even know you knew that phrase.  Second, you read my mind. I’m starving. I’ll be right back.” Kara leans down and plants a kiss on her wife’s forehead before turning towards the doorway. She pads towards the kitchen in an oversized t-shirt and boy shorts, turning and winking before she’s out of Lena’s sight. _Yep, that’s a nice view._

Lena hears the microwave slam shut, and the beep of the timer buttons.  In a few seconds, the smell of pot stickers floats through the apartment. She’s hungrier than she thought, her mouth is almost watering.  She can hear the scraping of the plate as Kara pulls it from the microwave. She expects to see Kara walk back through the doorway any second. But she doesn’t. Instead she hears a large bang, followed by the sound of the plate falling to the ground, shattering into pieces. 

Kara tries to scream, but before she can a gag is shoved in her mouth. A dark hood is violently tugged over her head.  She thrashes her body, trying with all her might to connect a fist to her attacker, but it isn’t working.

 She’s just too tired. Too weak.

She tries to warn Lena to barricade the bedroom door, but the gag is so large all that escapes her mouth are unintelligible screams. _Lena isn’t the target anyway. I am._

By the time Lena frantically runs to the kitchen, Kara is already gone - the only trace of her is a broken plate and dozens of pot stickers scattered on the hardwood floor.

Lena does the only thing she knows to do.  She runs to grab her phone from the nightstand in the bedroom.  Her fingers are shaking so badly, she can barely dial.  _Come on, come on._ By the time Alex answers, Lena is unable to hold back the tears. 

 “This is Danvers.”

At first, all Alex hears on the other end of the line is guttural sobs and gasps for air. It’s Lena. She knows it is. And there’s only thing that could have Lena this upset.

  _Kara. Something happened to Kara_. A knot forms in the pit of Alex’s stomach. One that hasn't been there since Maggie got shot. 

“Lena, what’s wrong? You have to tell me. TELL ME RIGHT NOW” She’s practically yelling at her distraught sister in law, desperate for word about Kara.

“A-Alex. Please. H-help. Kara’s gone. She’s been kidnapped. She’s gone. PLEASE!”

“Don’t you dare move. I’m on my way.”

Alex and the rest of the DEO tactical team can hear Lena’s screams before they even get off the elevator. When Alex pushes through the remains of the broken-down door to the apartment, the first thing she sees is Lena curled up on the floor.  Alex immediately runs to her, kneeling down to comfort her quickly before joining the other agents’ investigation.

“it’s okay, I’m here. You’re safe.”

Lena winces as she remembers Kara repeating the phrase the night before. Except one part is missing – _we’re_ safe.  Because now Kara _isn’t_ here. She _isn’t_ safe.  Lena doesn’t even know if there is a ‘we’ anymore.  But she knows she has to fight like hell to make sure there is.

 _Get it together Luthor, Kara needs you. Your wife needs you_.

Lena inhales sharply and steels her face, roughly wiping the remaining tears away with her clenched fists as she rises slowly from the floor.


	5. The Mole

**"Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation." -Khalil Gibran**

Kara can’t see anything but all-encompassing blackness. The kind that swallows any available light – the kind that resembles the hollow darkness of space when she left Krypton.  The rough material scratching against her face tells her that her head is covered by a thick, dark, musty sack. She squints to try and activate her x-ray vision but nothing happens.  _Damn_.

The distinctive heat on her skin tells her she’s underneath red sun lamps, which explains why she can’t free herself from the tight bindings she finds herself in.  What she lacks in powers, she tries to make up for in observation.  She feels cold, hard metal on her back and legs.  She’s tied to a metal chair – not the folding kind, but a sturdier one. She wiggles her arms currently tied behind her, and her shackles clang against the back of the chair. _Metal shackles too, great._ Kara whistles, trying to get a sense of the acoustics in the room. No echo.  She must be in a smaller enclosed space.

An obviously heavy door swings open, followed by a rush of cold air from outside the small room.  The scrape of approaching footsteps on the metal flooring cause Kara to clench every muscle in her body, though she’s unsure whether to brace for a blow or prepare to strike.  Not like she really could strike anyway.

A familiar voice interrupts the silence.  “I heard about your _disgusting_ little plan, Kara Zor El.” The disdain is so obvious.

 _Lillian._ A silent shudder ripples through Kara’s body that she can’t conceal.  Her previous suffering at Lillian’s hand is still fresh in her mind.  Lillian loves watching her squirm.

Lillian laughs as she rips the bag off Kara’s head roughly, pulling a few dozen strands of golden hair with it. Kara winces, her eyes sensitive to the sudden and harsh invasion of light.

“You had to know I wouldn’t let that happen. I cannot allow the Luthor bloodline to be tainted by the likes of you.” Lillian’s eyes narrow in disgust at the Kryptonian bound before her.

Kara aches to yell back that it’s too late, it’s already done.  That nothing can stop her from creating and loving a child with the most beautiful woman in the world. That there is absolutely nothing tainted about having a child with the person she loves more than her own life.  But she can’t. If Lillian realizes that it’s too late - that a Super/Luthor baby may soon be a reality - Lena becomes an immediate target.  _The baby too. If it worked, anyway. I hope it worked._

Kara’s voice is soft. Small.  Almost a whisper.  “How - How did you know?”

Lillian runs her palm along Kara’s cheek, softly at first.  Kara tries to wrestle away from Lillian’s icy touch, but she’s bound too tightly.  When Lillian’s hand reaches Kara’s chin she grips it tightly, and yanks Kara’s face upwards, closer to her own.  It hurts, but Kara refuses to show weakness. 

“Oh please.  I’ve had a mole in your organization for ages.  I usually ignore whatever trifling idiocy you’re up to. But obviously, my contact knew this project would be of particular importance to me since it involves the complete and utter destruction of my family legacy.”

Kara’s rage simmers just below the surface, waiting to bubble out. She couldn’t stop herself from arguing with her captor.  “Destruction? You call a child born of love destruction?  The only destruction here came from _you._ You destroyed Lena- broke her heart little by little over the course of a lifetime. You know what else destroyed Lena? _Not_ having a child. Having hopes for one dashed so cruelly at the last minute.”

A crooked smile slowly creeps across Lillian’s face. “Oh. Oh my.… you didn’t know? You can thank me for that too.  You’d be surprised what a few lump sum payments can do for a brand new mother.”

Kara’s jaw falls open, unable to contain her shock. _It was her all along.  And we had no idea. How could I have been so stupid? I should have seen it. I should have known something wasn’t right._

“How could you do that? How could you do that to Lena? She’s your DAUGHTER!” Kara frantically struggles against her restraints, desperate to seek revenge on her captor for all the nights Lena spent crying in her arms .  The red sun lamps are working though, and her struggle serves no purpose other than to amuse her captor.

“That’s exactly why I’m trying to save her from further involving herself with your kind. I’ve allowed this dalliance to go unchecked for far too long and I can’t allow it to continue.  And imagine my surprise when I didn’t even need to use Kryptonite to get you here! Thanks to your arrogant and idiotic refusal to stay at the DEO to recover, it wasn’t even hard work. And now you can rot in this cell for all I care, as long as you’re far away from my daughter.”

“You can’t keep me here forever. You know it.  You don’t stand a chance against DEO location technology and its agents. And most importantly, you don’t stand a chance against Lena.”

Lillian throws her head back in exaggerated laughter, then comes in close to Kara’s face in a taunting manner.  “My daughter is weak and inconsequential. I do not fear her.”

 “Well, you should. She’s stronger, smarter, and a far better person than I am.”

Kara rears her head back, and quickly throws it forward into Lillian’s face, striking her nose with her forehead.  Kara’s surprised by the pain. She’ll never get used to it.  A yelp of surprise escapes from Lillian, who staggers backwards and puts her hands to her face.  A trickle of blood escapes through her fingers.

Kara’s vision fades in and out, the blackness slowly engulfing her once again.

The last thing she hears before she passes out is Lillian rushing away to attend to her likely broken nose.  “Enjoy your meaningless existence in this room. You _will_ suffer in solitude.”

 

* * *

_God damnit, Kara. Where are you? I need you. I need you home. It’s been two fucking days._

She hasn’t slept since Kara was taken. Instead, Lena is holed up in an office in L Corp’s research and development department.  It’s where the latest and greatest technology is housed – technology that could potentially help her find Kara. Lena’s fingers are furiously tapping away at the keyboard, her eyes frantically scanning the many monitors in front of her.  Half a dozen crumpled paper coffee cups are scattered haphazardly on the floor around her.

She rubs at her bloodshot eyes, and turns to the conference telephone on the right side of the desk, clearing her throat before talking.

“Are we all in agreement that it must be my mother?”

“Nothing else makes sense.  There’s been no detectable hostile alien activity, no suspicious whispers among the organized crime syndicates, absolutely nothing.” Lena can tell by J’onn’s hoarse voice that he hasn’t slept either.  No doubt he’s been working just as hard as she has, along with Alex, Winn, and Maggie.

Lena continues her line of questioning, eager to be kept up to date on the DEO’s progress toward finding Kara.  “She had to know about the solar flare. She knew exactly when to strike. Have you discovered how she was able to access such sensitive information?”

Winn clears his throat and answers quickly. “The available metadata shows no evidence of a hack, so I don’t think it was any electronic breach. I believe my firewall worked as intended.”

“There must be a mole then, right? A spy? Whatever you want to call it.  That sounds right up Lillian’s alley.”

Alex sighs, loathing that one of their own may have betrayed her sister. “It’s possible. Vasquez is currently interrogating all staff. We’ve identified a few people of interest – those individuals who have accessed information regarding the solar flare or PGC project even though it is outside their immediate scope of work.”

“And the DEO tracker signal is still blocked somehow?”

“Yes. Whoever has Kara knows about the tracker and was able to implement technology to block any signal emanating from her location.”

“Ok, I’ll keep working here. Contact me immediately if you learn anything at all.  For now, Winn can you send me the DEO employee database? I want to run a few searches of my own on L Corp software.”

“Of course, Lena. I’ll send it right now. Let me know if you need anything else. And please try to get some sleep.”

Lena’s only response is to press the button to hang up the phone.  She can’t sleep until they know something. Anything that could bring Kara home.  A familiar whoosh sounds from her computer signaling a new email to her secured account, and she finds herself staring at the DEO employee database.

_Immaculately maintained, of course. I expect nothing less from Winn Schott._

When Lena asked for the database, she wasn’t entirely sure what she was going to do with it. But now, she moves with purpose, furiously tapping the keyboard again. _I can cross-reference this database with any purchase of any product developed or marketed by L-Corp. Maybe something of interest will show up._

Once the search is complete, Lena scrolls through the list noting nothing of value. Until she sees it – a familiar name. One she saw on an ID badge when she met with the DEO scientists – Michael Dale.  Two years ago, he participated in an experimental drug trial through L Corp – one dealing with pills that affect neurotransmitters in the brain.  _That’s it._

She scrambles to hit redial. The line clicks, and before J’onn can finish answering, Lena is practically yelling.

“It’s Michael. Michael Dale.  I think he’s the mole.  Records indicate he had access to pills that could potentially block certain neural activity from detection – they would make him immune from your abilities. That would be why you didn’t know he was working with Lillian.”

“Shit. Dale is in with Vasquez and Danvers now. If they can’t make him talk, I will. We’ll have Kara back soon, I promise. Now please, go home. You need to rest. Agents are stationed around the apartment and the door has been repaired.”

“Alright J’onn. Please call me as soon as you know anything.”

* * *

 

The shattered plate is gone now. Someone from the DEO must have cleaned it up.  Part of Lena wishes it was still there. It would be a reinforcement that this is real – that Kara is gone.  It still feels like a bad dream she’s certain to wake up from.

Lena shuffles mindlessly to their bedroom, where the yellow sun lamps are still burning.  As if they too are waiting for Kara to come back.  The brunette climbs into bed without turning them off. Maybe their warmth will help her forget that she’s alone.  She hugs a pillow tightly to her chest, and is quickly overcome by exhaustion. She falls asleep trying to name off places where her mother might have Kara. _The old Luthor Corp warehouse. Luthor manor. Cadmus headquarters…._

 She’s torn from sleep by the sharp ring of her telephone. It’s Alex. 

 “Alex, what is it? Please tell me you know something.” Lena’s voice is thick and husky from hours of uninterrupted sleep.

“We managed to extract Kara’s location from Dale.  Apparently Cadmus has been using an old shipyard for its operations recently. Dale believes that’s where Henshaw and Lillian took her.  Evidence seems to point to that being the case. Surveillance shows Lillian has been on premises for the last two days and that’s not typical according to Dale.   A large team and I are en route to retrieve her. We also plan to detain Lillian.” 

Lena’s eyes are wide, her hands shaking nervously. “O-okay. What do I do? Where do I go? How can I help?”

“J’onn has arranged for an agent to pick you up in 15 minutes, and take you to him at the DEO. You’ll wait together for the extraction team to return.  Assuming we come back with Kara, I’m sure she’ll need you.”

“Be careful Alex. Please bring her home to me.”

 

 


	6. Yellow

**Look at the stars,**  
**Look how they shine for you,**  
**And everything you do,**  
**Yeah, they were all yellow.**

 

“Alpha team, position yourselves on the right side. Bravo, you’re around the back edge of the building. Don’t let anyone slip out unnoticed. Team Charlie, come with me on the left.  We breach on three!”  The building is an old brick warehouse near the edge of the docks – closest to the water. 

Alex slams a sticky C4 explosive device on the door of the shipyard building.  According to coms from J’onn, Dale- or ‘that traitorous shitbag’ as Alex calls him - is certain that if Supergirl is still on the premises, she’s here.  Alex hopes her sister is far enough from the door to avoid injury from the breach. 

Alex and the six agents from Alpha and Charlie squad scatter to their assigned sides. Bravo has already disappeared, hoping to prevent Lillian’s escape through the rear.  Once all agents are clear of the breach location, Alex flips open the switch cover of the remote and takes a deep breath.

“ONE!

_Please be here, Kara._

TWO!

_Please be here, Kara._

THREE!”

As soon as her hand squeezes the button, the door is blown off its hinges, flying backwards until it clatters against the asphalt about 30 feet from where it started.  Alex’s ears are ringing and the smell of smoke is strong, even inside her tactical helmet.  She holds her hand up, making certain that both teams see her instruction to stay put.  Metal clangs against the floor as she tosses a smoke grenade through the open door.  Once it begins hissing, and smoke fills the interior of the entryway, Alex wordlessly motions for Alpha and Charlie squad to lower their night vision goggles and enter the room. 

She goes first into the fray.  She always goes first.  This time, no one could stop her even if they wanted to. Finding Kara isn’t a want.  It is a visceral need.  Without Kara, she feels aimless and lost.  Weak. Empty.  Alex thought that once she found Maggie, she wouldn’t need Kara this much anymore.  But the truth is she does. She needs her just as much as she always has. Not even Maggie can change that.

 

* * *

 

Their bodies are entangled in a small bed in the DEO’s medical ward. The yellow sun lamps burn above them – Alex turned the lamps so high the bulbs now emit a subtle buzzing sound. Still, all Lena is focused on is Kara’s breathing. The warmth of her skin. The softness of her hair. Even counting her eyelashes.   _She’s real. She’s here. She’s safe._

Kara isn’t ready to discuss it, and Lena knows better than to make her.  Truthfully, Lena doesn’t care about anything other than the fact that her wife is safe and no longer in danger.  She hasn’t even asked Alex to brief her on what happened during the raid.  They can address everything else whenever Kara is comfortable and well enough to do so. All that matters is Lillian can’t touch either of them – she’s locked away in a cell deep in the recesses of the DEO.  Hank Henshaw is being held separately.  Based on the fresh bruises on Alex’s knuckles the last time she checked in on them, Lena knows Alex “welcomed” both detainees appropriately.

They’ve been like this for hours, alternating between much needed sleep, and silence filled with small desperate touches – a hand to the face, or a squeeze of the hip, a brush of hair behind the ear - each woman eager to confirm the other is still present.  Lena notices Kara’s eyes have finally fluttered open and stayed that way.  She’s afraid to speak, but also desperate to hear Kara’s voice.

As if she knows exactly what Lena needs, Kara speaks first.  “I have something to tell you.” Kara’s eyes well up, but not a single tear spills out.

 “What is it darling? Whatever it is can wait. You just need -”

“It was her.  She paid off the mother. Losing Alura was her fault. I’m so sorry. Rao, I should have known. I should have done something.”

Lena is surprised, but she isn’t.  Part of her has always wondered if Lillian intervened. The mother’s change of heart had seemed too sudden to make any logical sense.  Yes, this hurts, but it’s a familiar hurt.  A hurt that has already dug a hole as deep as it could in her heart – there’s no farther to go. It can’t hurt any more than it already has. Her mother will never love her the way she needs to be loved, and will never let go of her anti-alien bigotry.  This much Lena accepted long ago.  At most she’s angry with herself for failing to stop it. She’s the one who should have known.

“Kar, honey.  It is _not_ your fault, do you hear me?  You did nothing wrong.  The only guilty person here is Lillian. Okay? We can talk about this more another time. But right now I need you to focus on feeling better so I can take you home.”

Kara nods silently. She already feels much stronger, and the lamps are serving their intended purpose.  But things aren’t back to normal yet – her lack of an appetite is clear proof of that.  Lena nestles deeper into Kara, gratefully inhaling her familiar scent. She smells different, but in a way that Lena can’t pinpoint. Not better, not worse, just different.

 “What does it feel like, darling?”

Kara takes a moment to respond, which makes Lena wonder if she should have stayed quiet.   _Shit. I shouldn’t push her._ She’s relieved when Kara finally speaks.   “What do you mean? What does what feel like?”

“When your powers start coming back. What does it feel like?”

Kara scrunches her face, deep in thought. Her face instantly relaxes when Lena moves to stroke her cheek with her the backs of her fingers, pressing a few small kisses along her jawline. 

“You know how when we watch movies on the couch you always say your arm falls asleep and it tingles? At first you say it’s so bad that it kind of hurts, then gradually the tingling stops and you start to feel normal again? It’s like that – but everywhere. My entire body tingles. Until it doesn’t. And I feel like me again.”

 _It tingles._ Lena doesn’t realize she’s crying until the salty tears reach her lips.  She wipes them away quickly, hoping Kara is too tired to notice. _Kara notices. She always notices._

“Baby, what is it?”

“It’s just. Nothing.  This probably isn’t the time or place to say anything.”

“Whatever it is, you can tell me Lena. _Please_.”

“I – um. I feel strange.”

Kara sits up immediately, panic starting to set in.  “What do you mean strange? What is it? What’s wrong?”

She starts to yell for Alex until Lena’s hands gently pull her back down towards the hospital bed. Lena covers Kara’s hands with her own, squeezing gently.  Her eyes are still wet with tears, though none fall down her cheeks anymore.

“I first felt it the second night you were gone.  I fell asleep in our bed and the yellow sun lamps were still on from…before.  I felt just a tiny little tingling. Right _here_.”  She guides Kara’s hand to her abdomen, smiling as Kara’s eyes grow wide.

She continues before Kara can say anything. “I didn’t feel it once I got up, so I thought I imagined it. Or it was just a weird nerve thing.  But I’ve felt it the entire time laying here with you under the lamps again.”

“Oh - Oh Rao. You mean…It’s…That’s…You’re…OH RAO.”

“I think I have a tiny speck of a Kryptonian in there. And I think she likes the yellow sun lamps.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt bad for the angst, so I hurried to get us back to fluff-ville. It's just beginning. :)


	7. Recovery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Small dose of fluff to tide you over.

Lena can’t hear the annoying buzz of the yellow sun lamps anymore. Not over Kara’s musical laughter – a dead giveaway of her nervous excitement. Kara’s hand hasn’t left Lena’s abdomen.  Once she stops laughing, Kara goes still to observe all she can.  The squint in Kara’s eyes tells her wife she must be trying to tune in her super hearing for anything unusual. _Nothing. It’s probably too soon._

“B-but, it’s so soon! Are you sure? I mean not that I’m not excited about it or I don’t believe you or think you’re overreacting but I just…”

Lena laughs, putting her hands up and waving them to get Kara’s attention and stop her rambling. They would be here all day if she didn’t. She presses a quick kiss to Kara’s cheek.

“Hey, hey. It’s okay, Kar. I know what you meant.  I’m not 100% sure obviously, but I think I know my body well enough to realize there’s something weird happening when I’m under these lamps.”  Lena gestures lazily at the several yellow lamps above them while Kara nods in agreement. Lena has always been very aware of her body and how it’s functioning.  Once she had predicted a bout with the flu an entire week before she manifested any symptoms.  That was another $100 bet Kara lost. Lena doesn’t make bets she won’t win, and Kara knows this.  She just enjoys seeing Lena smile, so she keeps making the bets anyway.  

“We should probably talk to Alex so she can run some tests and confirm everything. Make sure everything is okay.”

Lena nods, but not enthusiastically.  “Can’t it wait just a little while? I just want to be here with you.”

“Of course, love. We can talk to Alex later today.”  They lay in heavy silence, Lena’s thumb rubbing the back of Kara’s hand resting in her own. Kara listens to Lena’s breathing – the familiar sound is the most comforting thing to her right now.

Lena is hesitant to push Kara, but her inquisitive nature wins over.  “Look. I don’t want to pressure you. But whenever you’re ready, I want to talk about what happened.  About why it happened.”

Kara lets out a deep sigh – the tales of her nightmare coming out of her just as quickly as her breath.  Lena listens in silence as Kara recounts her several days in captivity – how she was left alone almost all the time, unless Lillian came to drop off scraps of food or taunt her mercilessly. How there was no point to Lillian’s actions other than her sick enjoyment at seeing Kara suffer.  How it felt like her body was slowly wasting away under the red sun lamps. How helpless she felt without powers – she’d never gone that long before.  How all she could think of was fighting her way back home to Lena.  Her voice is just a whisper, but an unwavering one.

“The mole told her that we planned to have our own biological child, and when we planned to make it happen.  Her plan was to kidnap me after the solar flare, keep me locked up and away from you so that I couldn’t...I couldn’t...”

“Couldn’t what, Kar?

“Soil the Luthor bloodline.”

Lena nods, unable to mask her sharp intake of breath.  She knows how her mother feels about their marriage and about aliens, but to hear it put like that is painful. Kara is too good. If anything she purifies everything she touches, including the Luthor name.  She searches Kara’s eyes frantically for any sign that she’s taken Lillian’s words to heart.  Her refusal to meet Lena’s gaze tells her that Lillian’s words wounded Kara more than any physical suffering she was dealt during her kidnapping.

“That’s ridiculous!” At first, Lena’s voice comes out louder and angrier than she intends. All too aware of Kara’s sensitive hearing, she quickly lowers it with an apologetic look. 

“You listen to me, Kara Danvers.  You do not believe a word that woman says, okay? You are a beautiful person inside and out, and nothing about you can soil anything. Least of all a child – our child. Do you know how happy I’ll be to look at her face and be reminded that she is part of both of us? You know how much I want this right?”

“I know. And Rao, I do too. But I’m just worried for her. Lillian isn’t the only one with such abhorrent views.”

“No one else matters, Kara. Just me, and you, and our little girl that we are going to love to the moon and back.”

For a reason Lena can’t pinpoint, Kara has an exaggerated look of disappointment on her face. _Oh god. Did I say something wrong?_  

“Really, Lena? The moon? That’s not really that far. I mean we’ll at least love her to the phantom zone and back don’t you think?” Kara winks mischievously.

Lena groans and rolls her eyes as lovingly as one possibly can. She pokes Kara in the shoulder lightly, careful not to press too hard. “Babe, you know what I mean.  Plus, the moon is pretty damn far for someone who can’t fly faster than the speed of sound.”

Kara laughs, glad to take some heaviness away from the conversation and steer it further away from Lillian. “I hope she has your eyes.  They’re the most beautiful shade of light green in any galaxy. And I would know. I’ve seen them all.”

“I love you, Kar.”

“I love you too, Lena. More than anything.” 

 _I love you._ Three words that they’ve said thousands of times over a period of years. Three words that have never seemed more meaningful than they do now. Lena swallows the lump in her throat, not wanting to cry again. She’s cried enough. And now that her heart is returned to her, there are no more reasons to. Well there are, but the good kind.  Kara is back safe with her, and if Lena's intuition is right, there's a good chance they're having a baby. The baby that they've dreamt of since they got married.

* * *

 

After Kara falls asleep again, Lena quietly slips out of their shared bed, tiptoeing out of the room, and down the hall towards Alex’s office.  Her knuckles rap quietly on Alex’s door, half expecting Alex to be at home resting after such an extensive rescue operation. An authoritative voice on the other side of the door tells her to come in.

The door opens with a slight creak, and Alex looks up expectantly from the mountain of paperwork from her desk.  The exhaustion is obvious in her face. She stands immediately, unsure of what to say.

Lena beams at her sister-in-law, unable to contain her joy.  “Alex, you kept your promise.”

“Um. Of course I did.” Her cheeks flush a deep red.  Alex isn’t good at receiving compliments – they make her uncomfortable.  She’s never sure where to look, what to do with her hands, or how she should respond.   She looks at the floor counting tiles until Lena speaks again.

“Thank you for bringing her back to me.”  She rushes forward, wrapping Alex in her arms.

 Alex’s eyes close tightly, her mind pushing away any thought of losing Kara.  “Always.”

“My mother. Where is she?”

“She’s in cell 4E. Do you want me to take you to her?”

“No, not right now. I plan to visit soon, but not now. I’m so angry if I go down there now I’ll kill her with my bare hands.”

“Are you sure? She looks pretty hilarious with her two black eyes courtesy of your wife’s forehead.” Alex’s smile is huge. She wishes she could have seen Kara smash the bejeesus out of Lillian’s face. Because as she told Maggie _, that evil bitch deserves anything she gets._

Lena covers her mouth, trying to contain a rogue smile.  She’s of the opinion it’s not very dignified to delight in violence, however much deserved.“As much as I’d appreciate that visual, I think I’ll pass for now, Alex. I was actually thinking of going home and picking up fresh clothes for Kara. Maybe some pizza to see if we can get her interested in food? Do you think you can keep an eye on her until I get back? I don’t want her to wake up alone.”

 “Of course. Oh, and Maggie says HP is behaving and they’re having a great time at the house.”

“Perfect. Do thank her for watching him for us. When I return, Kara and I need to speak with you.” Alex’s eyes narrow, ready to question Lena’s odd expression. But Lena’s retreat is hasty and with purpose. Before Alex can say a word, she’s gone.

* * *

 

When Lena returns, Alex and Kara are passionately discussing their ideal crime fighting partner, voices raised in spirited debate. She can see them both gesturing wildly through the small window in the door.  Lena stands outside the door for a moment to just listen, enjoying the ease and happiness evident in Kara’s voice.

“Alex, I’m telling you. No bad guy stands a chance against Diana Prince.  I mean have you _seen_ her??? She could kick _my_ ass! And I’m bulletproof!”

Alex groans. She mostly disagrees with Kara just because its fun to argue. “Yeah, yeah. Diana is a bad ass. But there’s something bad ass about Bruce Wayne and all of his gadgets.”  Alex always has had a thing for gadgets.

Lena is still smiling when she knocks, pushing the door open slowly. She peeks her head in, spotting Alex in the guest chair, and Kara sitting up in bed looking much more refreshed than earlier today. Her skin has nearly returned to it's normal shade.

“Sorry to interrupt the great debate. For the record Alex, my wife has the right answer. Wonder Woman is _always_ the answer.” She shifts her gaze to Kara before continuing. “Babe, I brought you something. Pick a hand, and NO cheating!” Lena holds out a large paper bag with handles in each hand. Kara doesn’t dare use her x-ray vision to see what’s inside. When Lena says no cheating, she means it.

“Okay, LEFT!” Her smile stretches, showing all of her teeth. No one loves surprises like Kara.  Which is funny considering she’s so terrible at them. Surprises require secrecy that she just can’t quite manage, especially with Lena.

Lena places the bag in her left hand at the foot of Kara’s bed, and Kara reaches for it eagerly. “Pizzaaaaaa. Thank you, I’m starving.” Within seconds, Kara is shoving a slice in her mouth, moaning at how delicious her favorite pizza tastes on an empty stomach. 

Lena clears her throat expectantly. “Don’t you care what’s in the bag on the right?”

Kara's mouth is so full of pizza, her reply is barely intelligible.  “Mmmm. Yeah mmmsorrybabe. You knowmmm how I get distracted by food.”

Lena pulls a large box out of the bag wrapped in silver paper with a red bow adorning the top.

“Welcome back, sweetheart.”

Kara shoots a questioning smile at Lena, before tearing away at the shiny paper.  She knows what it is instantly even with just a tiny portion of the box showing, and throws her hands in the air.  She scrambles to the edge of the bed, jumping to hug her wife. Forgetting for a moment that her sister is in the room, Kara grabs the back of Lena’s neck and kisses her hard. It’s the first time she’s felt herself in days, and she wants to show it.  Sure it's a little more enthusiasm than she intends, but everyone is so happy she's regaining her strength that it doesn't matter.

Alex puts her finger in her mouth and gags jokingly.  “Oooookay I’m right here. Chill with the making out guys. What is it?”

“It’s the donut maker I’ve always wanted!”

Alex scoffs. She should have known that only food and Lena could make Kara that happy.  Kara’s been on about that donut maker forever.  If she didn't get it soon, Alex was going to buy it for her herself just so she'd shut up about it.

Lena wipes at her lips, though she’s sure her lipstick is hopelessly smudged – bulletproof lips will do that.  “Well damn. If I knew you’d kiss me like that I would have bought it a long time ago.  But It’s not _just_ for you, you know. I’m kinda craving donuts. _We’re_ kinda craving donuts.” She winks at Kara, who picks her up and spins her around with ease. Her strength is clearly returning as it should.

Alex looks back and forth suspiciously between Kara and Lena, her eyes narrowed into tiny slits. Her face is scrunched up in thought. She looks like she starts to speak several times before words actually come out.  

“Ummmm you said we. She said we?”


	8. Two Months Later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait. Just remember, even though I make you wait too long, I'll never abandon you! 
> 
> I'm more determined than ever to keep writing Supercorp. No one can take this ship away from us <3

Warm light is barely peeking through the curtains in their bedroom when Lena abruptly rips the comforter off her body and bolts clumsily to the bathroom. She almost takes out an expensive lamp on the way. Kara sleepily zips behind Lena, who is already hunched over the toilet. Without a word, she bends down, rubbing Lena’s back with one hand, and carefully sweeping her long brunette hair out of the way with the other. Even after two weeks of this, Kara still isn’t exactly sure how to be most helpful in this situation.  Should she say something encouraging? Should she apologize? Should she make a joke? Today she elects to say nothing at all. Last time she tried to be encouraging, Lena told her she appreciated the gesture but didn’t need a puke cheerleader.  The joke thing didn’t go over so well last week either, and Lena angrily threatened to throw up on her.

Once Lena has nothing left in her stomach, she slumps to the floor exhausted. The cool tile feels so good on her skin, and if she didn’t have an immense desire to brush her teeth, she’d stay here forever.

Kara gently lifts her from the ground, handing her a toothbrush. She holds her upright and steady – dehydration is making Lena a little woozy. As soon as Lena finishes and weakly spits the toothpaste out, Kara hands her a glass of fresh water to rinse out her mouth.  Kara may not know what to say while her wife is bent over a toilet, but this. This she can help with.  Kara sweeps her wife into her arms, and floats her back to their bed. A second after setting Lena down gently, the blonde dashes to the kitchen and is back in a blink with a cold rag. She places it on Lena’s forehead. An audible sigh of relief escapes Lena's lips.

“Thank you darling. I’m sorry I woke you.”

Kara curls in next to her wife, wrapping her arms around her tightly. Lena is grateful for the comforting touch to ground her. Maybe with Kara holding her, the room will stop spinning soon. 

Lena’s eyes flutter, sleep deprivation taking its toll.  Kara leans in to her ear and whispers softly.  “You look beautiful, you know.”

Lena’s eyes snap open incredulously.  Her voice is raw and scratchy.  “Kara. You’ve got to be kidding me. You just watched me barf my guts out for the fourteenth time in a few days.  This is the least attractive I’ve ever been in my entire life, including the braces and acne phase in middle school. Which I will continue to deny ever happened.”

Kara is glad to hear Lena laugh softly. One of the things she loves most about her wife is that Lena can never resist laughing a little too hard at her own jokes.  It’s adorable.

Kara’s phone dings – a text from Alex.  The second Kara reads it her face falls. “Babe, I need to pay a visit to the DEO. Will you be okay here for a bit?”

“Of course, darling. I just plan sleep as much as possible before your child makes me clear the non-existent contents of my stomach all over again.” _Yep_. _It’s always Kara’s child when there’s barfing involved._

Kara gets up and walks around to the other side of the bed, kneeling next to it to be level with Lena’s bright green eyes. She leans in for a chaste kiss, selfishly grateful for their extra minty toothpaste.  

“I cooked some food for you in case you get hungry, okay? It’s in the fridge with your Gatorade – yellow and purple, just like you like. I love you, call me if you need anything.” She turns her focus to Lena’s belly. It’s just recently developed a tiny pooch, which Lena says is “ _just like when I eat a big burrito.”_ Both women are so excited for Lena to start to show even more.  That way they have visual reassurance their baby is healthy and growing.  It will finally feel real then.  Even though she can hardly tell it’s there, Kara still talks to the baby all the time – mostly to make Lena laugh.

“I love you too little one. Be good and let mommy sleep.” She kisses Lena again, slower and deeper this time.  Every fiber of her being wants to stay here with Lena and never leave.

As always, Lena senses her wife’s reluctance.  “You need to go babe. Go keep the world safe for baby Danvers.”  Kara’s long gone before Lena’s content smile fades from her face.

* * *

J’onn, Winn, and Alex are already all standing around the DEO conference table when Kara arrives. They’re all staring at her expectantly, undoubtedly wanting a lengthy monologue on the latest in Lena’s pregnancy. Again. Normally Kara would happily oblige. Hell, she’d probably talk about it so long everyone’s patience would wear thin.  But today she just wants to quickly dispose of the issue at hand so she can go back to her hair holding, toothpaste dispensing post in the bathroom.

As Kara sidles up to the table between Winn and J’onn, Winn playfully elbows her side. “Hey, Kar! How’s Lady Barfsalot?

“She’s getting through it like a champ, but she may murder you if I tell her you said that. And I wouldn’t dare protect you from her. In fact, I’d probably help her and hold you down.” She shoves Winn lightly, causing him to bump into the table.

Alex rolls her eyes.  If he wasn’t on the other side of the table, she’d smack the crap out of Winn. 

“Is she staying away from the yellow sun lamps like I told her to? I’m still not 100% sure whether that abnormally accelerates fetal growth or not. And I can’t test the theory without exposing the baby to it more, which isn’t the best idea.”

“Of course. She hasn’t gone near one since the day we told you. Now can we please get to actual work so we can finish this and I can go home?”

J’onn takes control of the conversation.  He winces as he remembers how much he worried about his wife when she was pregnant, and how hard it was to be away from her even briefly.  The memory of his family still stings a little even after all this time. 

“Of course. Right. Winn located another Cadmus sleeper cell by monitoring dark web traffic and tracking IP addresses. We all know that while Lillian is in custody is the perfect time to eradicate all remaining members of Cadmus.  The organization is in disarray, and they don’t have enough resources to put up a meaningful fight.”

He pulls his hands upward from the table in front of him like an orchestra conductor beginning a symphony. A holographic map of the sleeper cell location rises from the table.

As he briefs them on the mission, Kara barely hears anything he says.  Her mind is too busy thinking of Lena. If she’s getting much needed rest. If she’s been able to keep down food. If she’s missing anything she needs.  As she does every time she’s away now, she tunes in her super hearing to target her home. Kara smiles, hearing only slow, methodical breathing. _She’s asleep. Thank Rao._  

* * *

Kara has barely stepped back into DEO headquarters after the mission when her super hearing catches a scream. A very familiar one. She’s out the window in a flash, before she can process that her wife may be in danger. She’s standing in her bedroom in seconds, but even still she fears she’s too late. Her mind is swimming with nefarious possibilities. 

 “Lena! What’s wrong?” Her normally confident voice cracks - betraying her fear. 

The screaming coming from the kitchen stops abruptly. Now all Kara can hear is Lena’s ragged quick breaths, and Harry Pupper barking.  _That's weird. He never barks._  

“I’m okay darling. I just. I … ummm….”

Kara doesn’t let Lena finish, and races to the kitchen.  At first she doesn’t notice anything out of the ordinary. Lena standing at the sink, holding a yellow Gatorade. Certainly a familiar sight recently.  But then Kara glances down and realizes Lena is not standing at all.  Her feet are floating about six inches off the ground.  Lena’s eyes are huge, the sheer panic evident on her face. Harry Pupper is panting heavily and frantically pacing the length of the kitchen, sensing Lena’s distress. 

“Um. What the hell is happening Lena?”

“I- I don’t know! I was just standing here minding my own business, then all of a sudden I just started fucking hovering. I can’t control it. I’m not doing this. Please, make this shit stop before I puke again.” Lena is always more apt to curse when she’s scared. 

“Oh. My. God.” Kara’s shock turns to amusement and her grin stretches from ear to ear.

“What? What is it? What’s happening? Is this another prank of Winn’s? I’ll get that shithead, I swear to God.  Did he hide some kind of DEO levitational field device bullshit in here?” Lena is desperately trying to hold in the tears. She’s afraid, frustrated, and tired. Not a good combination for a known crier – especially a hormonal pregnant one.

Kara levitates up to level herself with Lena, putting her hands on her wife’s shoulders. “It’s okay. You’re okay. Take deep breaths for me. In, out. In, out.” Lena closes her eyes tightly, hoping that by the time she opens them, she’s no longer mysteriously floating in mid-air. It’s not that she’s afraid of heights, or flying with Kara – in fact, she’s always loved the freedom of flying through the air in Kara’s arms.  But suddenly having an uncontrollable and unexplained ability to levitate is not how she imagined her day going.

Kara lightly strokes Lena’s barely-there belly with her fingers, humming a song that Lena can’t quite place. The deep breaths in and out continue, ragged at first, calmer little by little.

By the time Kara’s humming ends, Lena’s feet are safely on the ground again. She’s so grateful to no longer be floating she sits down on the floor right where she lands, burying her face in her hands.

“What the hell was that, Kara?”

Kara flops to the ground too, directly facing Lena.  She takes both of Lena’s hands in her own, squeezing them softly.  She doesn’t speak until Lena looks up reluctantly to meet her gaze, the terror still etched into her expression. 

“Well…honey…we knew the baby was likely going to inherit powers of some sort. It seems like the baby’s powers are manifesting in you for now. I think…I think Baby Danvers just made mommy fly.”

 


	9. Month Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for being patient. Please let me know your thoughts on the story and what you'd like to read here!

**“A woman has two smiles that an angel might envy, the smile that accepts a lover before words are uttered, and the smile that lights on the first born babe, and assures it of a mother’s love”**

**– _Thomas C Haliburton_**

Her body has been under relentless assault for months now, but Lena Danvers has never been stronger – both physically and mentally.  Being pregnant with a half alien baby isn’t a feat to approach with trepidation or a weak mind, and Lena is all in.  She’s got the books, subscribes to all the podcasts, and even became infant CPR certified already.  She isn’t even sure if a half superhero baby can choke, but it’s better to be prepared anyway.  If anyone can ever truly be ready to parent an alien with powers, it’s going to be Lena and Kara Danvers.

Luckily their mornings spent communing over the toilet are long gone.  Lena’s no longer terrified when she randomly floats in the air. In fact, she’s convinced she’s gaining control over it- at least a little anyway. She can feel when it’s coming and hide, which comes in handy for her work schedule.  She’d had to work from home for weeks since there was no plausible explanation for a CEO randomly levitating during a board meeting.

Lena sits at her large white desk mindlessly staring at her computer, but not really focusing on anything on the screen.  Her hands are clasped elegantly over her growing belly, with her right thumb and forefinger spinning her wedding ring around her left ring finger. It’s something she does so often, but never notices she’s doing it until Kara’s hands cover her own and give them a comforting squeeze.

Jess’s voice over the speaker breaks Lena’s thoughts.

“Good morning Ms. Luthor, Kara is on line two for you. It sounds important. She’s nervous rambling again.” _Ms. Luthor_.  Jess has been unable to break the habit of calling her that in the years since the wedding. Lena never bothers to correct her. She is comfortable with herself and who she is – both with Kara and as an individual. It doesn’t matter what name people use.

“I’ll take it.  Thank you, Jess.” Lena shakes her head at her own response.  Of course she’d take it.  She’d never once declined a call from her wife. She only declined calls from telemarketers and asshole business men who screwed her over on deals in the past. And her mother. But she can no longer call here, or anywhere.

As the call clicks over, she can’t contain her smile. 

“Hello, gorgeous. How may I help you?

“Oh hey babe. Sorry to interrupt but I just was reading one of those books you gave me and I am a little concerned.”

“Concerned? About what?”

“I lied. I’m freaking out. Okay so, you know how they have to cut the umbilical cord and stuff? What if it breaks the scissors? The doctors can’t know it’s a freaking baby of steel. What the hell are we going to do? I can’t punch out doctors and nurses, that’d just be wrong!”

Lena can’t help laughing long and hard at Kara’s earnest panic. The sound echoes a bit in her cavernous office.  “Kara, sweetie. We’re having the baby at the DEO, remember? You can laser cut the umbilical cord of steel with your eyeballs if you want to and no one will bat an eye.”

“Oh. Yeah. I forgot.  Sorry, I just got really wrapped up in these childbirth books for a minute. This stuff is friggin’ intense.”

“That’s adorable. You’re adorable.  I love you, you weirdo.”

“I love you too. Tell Baby Danvers I love her.”

“Of course. Hey, before you go. No one has told my mother right?”

“About the baby? No. I wanted you to be the one to decide if and when to tell her. She’s your mother.  She’s still sitting in cell 4e none the wiser. Probably still ranting about Rao knows what.”

 “Can you tell J’onn I’m coming by? I want to see her. Now.” 

 

* * *

 

Kara meets Lena at DEO Headquarters, just in case she wants company while seeing Lillian.  She’s happy to keep her distance, but wants to be available in the event Lena wants her there.  As soon as Lena walks in the door, Kara wraps a long, heavy jacket around her shoulders.  It’s cold in the DEO building, and Lena seems more sensitive to temperature these days. 

The gang quickly crowds around Lena, eager to hug the expectant mother and get a peek at her belly. She rolls her eyes at their attentiveness. Though she pretends to be annoyed, the lump in her throat betrays her. This is a family. Her family. One she never thought she’d have or deserve.

“Guys, guys. Calm down. You just saw me at game night last week. Nothing has changed since then.” Her hands are up in the air, as if surrendering to their assault of attention.

All of them start to speak at once, but Winn’s voice carries over the rest. “No, no Lena. I think you’re glowing even more, if possible. You’re radiant!” 

Alex coughs quickly, and mutters “kiss ass” under her breath. It’s true though, Lena looks better than she’s ever seen her. It’s slightly unnerving actually.

J’onn clears his throat, and everyone immediately steps back to give Lena space. It’s weird how even though he’s the only telepathic one, his wordless instructions are still understood by the team.

“4e is prepared for you. Kara can escort you down if that’s okay. I wanted to give you all some privacy. A team will monitor from the adjoining cell in case there are any issues.”

“Thank you, J’onn.” Lena and Kara both wrap their arms around him and hug tightly. He’s been so helpful and considerate these past few months.  Even though he won’t admit it, they know its him that’s been surreptitiously leaving baby gifts at their door all the time.  Before they draw back from the group hug, he whispers quietly. “If she steps one toe out of line, I’m personally vaporizing her ass, you got me?” For such an appallingly violent comment coming from such a soft-spoken man, Kara feels like her heart could burst. Rather than speak her response, she just thinks it. _Thanks, Space Dad._ He nods in her direction with a smile. At first he hated his nickname, but now he wouldn’t change it for the world. He wonders if the baby will call him space grandpa. Grandpa. That’s a word he thought he’d never hear.

J’onn holds the elevator door open for the women to descend to the holding cell floor deep below the surface.  As the door closes with a ping, Kara reaches for Lena’s hand.  It isn’t shaking, her grip is firm.  In that single touch, Kara knows her wife is ready to face her greatest adversary.

“I can wait for you outside the door, Lena. I’ll make sure nothing happens.”

“Oh no, you’re coming. We’re putting on a god damn spectacle for this bitch.”

Kara’s eyes grow wide as the elevator door opens once again. _What in Rao’s name does that mean? Is she high on prenatal vitamins? Should I call someone?!_ She’s snapped back from her thoughts when Lena briskly pulls her off the elevator onto the cell block floor.

“Um. Are you okay, babe?”

“Fantastic, Kara.”

_Oh Rao._

* * *

 

If Lena had flung the door to cell 4e open any harder, Kara is sure it would have flown off its hinges. Kara giggles a bit remembering a line from Wonder Woman, which they’ve watched at least 8 times now.  _I am both frightened and aroused._

“Hello, mother.” Lena’s voice drips with disdain, matching the scowl on her face.  _How is she still so beautiful when she’s so pissed?_ Kara’s been trying to figure that one out for years now.

Lillian is leaning against a plain concrete wall reading a thick book. One of the dozens Lena has picked out for her and sent with Kara to work.  She’d first sent Mommy Dearest as a taunt, but kept up the theme once she heard how furious Lillian had been when the book arrived in her cell.

“Well isn’t this a surprise. A welcome one if you’ll believe it. The reading material here leaves much to be desired.” Lillian tosses the book to the floor, making a show of her disdain for it. Lena knows Lillian is annoyed to have been caught actually reading one.

Kara and Lena are still holding hands – a fact that doesn’t escape Lillian’s hard gaze.

Lena’s smile is cold – aggressive, if a smile can be such.  “Meet my wife. Oh wait, that’s riiiiight. You’ve already met. When you had her TAKEN FROM OUR HOME.”

“I loathe that you haven’t yet seen the errors of your ways and jettisoned this alien trash. You will soon, you’ll see. You never did listen.”

“Oh, that’s where you’re wrong, mother.” 

Before Kara realizes what’s happening, Lena drops her thick, long coat to the ground, revealing her burgeoning pregnancy.  Even master manipulator Lillian cannot mask her shock.  Kara says nothing, but now understands Lena’s promise of a spectacle. She swears pregnancy has made Lena more dramatic than usual.

“It’s too bad you took her too late. The deed was already done, if you know what I mean.” Lena winks sarcastically at her mother, eager to press every button and stomp on every raw nerve Lillian has.

Lillian has stood up now, pressed against the plexiglass cell wall, mouth still agape. Lena doesn’t pause to allow her a word.

“I wasn’t going to visit you. Ever. I was content to let you rot in here without ever seeing your judgmental face again.  But the more I thought about it, I wanted to show you that I’m going to be a mother. A good one. You didn’t break me, as much as you tried. And oh god, you tried.  You failed Lillian, do you hear me? I will raise my child to be good and just, and knowing that I will support any choice they make, including who they love. I am not like you, I will never be like you.”

The longer she speaks, the stronger her voice gets.  By the end of her impassioned statement, she’s almost yelling.  Kara isn’t sure whether Lena’s trying to convince herself or Lillian. 

“My wife is the most incredible and loving person on this planet OR any other and the fact that you can’t see that only proves you know nothing. You are a pathetic, worthless waste of space and I won’t spend another moment wasting any thoughts on you. That energy is much better served loving this beautiful person right here, and the incredible baby that we made. Together. In spite of you.”

Kara wants nothing more than to wrap Lena in her arms, and kiss her. But she knows it can wait.  By now, the shock has faded from Lillian’s face, and pure seething anger has set in. Her face is so red, Kara wonders if her head will explode.

“Rest assured, this baby will be a disgusting creature, just Supergirl here. Even if I can’t get to it, someone will. The world must be cleansed of all aliens. We will make National City great again.” 

Kara’s torn between laughing at Lillian’s now almost purple face, and killing her with her bare hands for daring to threaten her unborn baby.  Still, she says nothing, not wanting to ruin Lena’s moment. Her anger almost feels like vibrations deep below her skin.

“Oh, Lillian. Shut your mouth. You talk of greatness, but know nothing of it. I’m bored of your nonsensical bullshit. Let’s go darling.” Before turning to leave, Lena makes a show of kissing her wife, slow and languid. A little saucy for others’ eyes, but in Lena’s mind, completely necessary to piss off a homophobic alien hating bigot.

Lillian’s fury bubbles until she’s screaming.  “I have people on the outside. They WILL end this travesty.” She points to Lena’s belly angrily, practically slamming her hand into the plexiglass.

Lena’s head snaps back towards Lillian.

“YOU STAY AWAY FROM OUR CHILD DO YOU HEAR ME YOU PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN BEING? I SWEAR ON MY LIFE YOU WILL SUFFER IF YOU TOUCH ONE HAIR ON OUR BABY’S HEAD!” As soon as she finishes, white hot beams shoot from her eyes, singeing the hair on Lillian’s head.  If Lena is surprised, she doesn’t show it. Instead, she marches out of the cell, pulling Kara behind her. Their footsteps are drowned out by Lillian’s now unintelligible ranting. They leave her frantically trying to quell the smoke on top of her head.

As soon as the door clicks shut and the system beep indicates all security systems are again armed, Kara whirls Lena around by the shoulders. Lena looks sheepish.

“Heat vision?! YOU HAVE HEAT VISION?! Jesus, remind me not to piss you off!”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. It just happened the other day. I was going to surprise you.  I didn’t actually mean to do it this time, but I got really angry.  It just came out.”

“Wait wait wait. The other day?  OH MY GOD I KNEW YOU MADE THAT PIZZA TOO FAST! HOLY CRAP I’m gonna have to give you lessons so you don’t accidentally kill someone! We don’t have enough insurance for this!”

“Cool right?” The look on her face is nervous, yet hopeful. Hopeful that Kara isn’t angry that she didn’t say anything earlier.

“Babe. This is SO cool.” Lena exhales audibly, grateful for how well her wife takes things in stride.

They trudge slowly back toward the elevator, hand in hand. Lena’s spare hand is resting on her belly, wondering if the heat vision was as exhausting for the baby as it was for her. She needs a nap. Hell, she always needs a nap. Growing an alien is tiresome.

Kara is so excited she’s practically buzzing. “So, do you need a superhero name now? I mean that’s how this works right? Are you Super Baby Mama? Super Uterus? I KNOW! SUPER SEXY PREGO LADY!”

Lena playfully shoves Kara, giggling. “The only super I am is super in love with you.”

She grabs Kara by the shoulders of her cape, pulling her in close. She presses her index finger to Kara’s lips, before replacing it with hers. The kiss is quick, but heavy with meaning. Wanting to show that she meant every word she screamed at her mother.

Lena pulls away to speak, nestling her head on Kara’s shoulder. “We’re going to make a great family.”

Kara points toward the crest of her suit, where Lena’s head rests. “I think you mean a Super one.” Kara laughs heartily at her own joke as usual.

Lena groans. “Oh my god. You’re not even a parent yet, and you’re already starting with the stupid dad jokes!” She steps away from Kara, pretending to be offended.

“Listen Super Baby Mama, you love my jokes! In case you’ve forgotten, it’s how I got you to marry me.”

 “Actually, I married you for the instantly cooked pizza. I guess now that I can do that myself, I don’t need you anymore.” She squeezes Kara even tighter.

 “Very funny.”


	10. Moments in Month 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry (again) for the wait. I promise I'm trying as fast as I can. One day I'll learn and plan out an entire story before I post instead of making it up as I go along. Let me know your thoughts and what you'd like to see in this story!

  **Chapter 8- Moments in Month 8**

**“Even as a child, she had preferred night to day, had enjoyed sitting out in the yard after sunset, under the star-speckled sky listening to frogs and crickets. Darkness soothed. It softened the sharp edges of the world, toned down the too-harsh colors. With the coming of twilight, the sky seemed to recede; the universe expanded. The night was bigger than the day, and in its realm, life seemed to have more possibilities.”  
― Dean Koontz, Midnight**

The sound of paint rollers moving quickly up and down the walls mixes with Kara and Lena’s intermittent giggles. Both of them being able to levitate comes in handy when painting a nursery – no step stools are required in the Danvers household anymore.

They debated hard about the color to paint the walls of their nursery which had long since been returned to eggshell white after they lost Allura. Or the baby girl that _should_ have been Allura.  This time around, Kara first suggested pink, which of course set Lena off on a thirty-minute speech about not subconsciously enforcing “stupid archaic gender roles imposed on children by a rigid society.” The compromise is a soft pastel yellow – both an aesthetically pleasing color, and one that Lena and her strong feelings about gender roles can live with.  

The baby’s room is almost completely set up. Between Lena’s meticulous planning, and both women’s inability to stop buying things, Lena could have the baby tomorrow and have everything needed.  The crib is white, with grey chevron pattern bedding. A few stuffed animals – more “secret” gifts from J’onn – rest against the back railing. A yellow giraffe, pale grey elephant, and an owl with both colors to match. Of course, Kara has already named them – Geoffrey, Jumbo, and Dr. Hoot. To Lena’s delight, Kara also has developed complicated back stories for all three of them, which she joyfully whispers to the baby before bed each night.

In the corner is a gliding rocker and footrest with soft microfiber cushions that both Lena and Kara fawned over at the store. It's paired with yellow throw pillow with “hello sunshine” written in white cursive letters. Kara often comes home from the DEO to find Lena asleep in it, an open book resting on her belly and HP napping next to her on the floor.

The piece of furniture that Kara and Lena are most excited about is the built-in bookshelf. Despite a little more than a month remaining, it’s already filled with dozens of books to read to the baby – except for the top shelf that’s reserved for picture frames.  That shelf holds the faces of Kara and Lena’s family. Their found family. The one that will love and protect this baby at any cost.  Alex and Maggie smiling at their wedding. Eliza and J’onn serving cake together at Kara and Lena’s wedding a few years ago. Winn and James in their Halloween costumes at the DEO party last year.  Each of their smiling faces will be a permanent presence in the room, now a warm reminder of the love and joy awaiting Baby Danvers.

After finishing her assigned wall Lena stops, gently placing her paint roller in the plastic tray. She straightens back up to admire her work, smiling from ear to ear. _Not a stray drop, and perfect edges._  Lena looks down at her maternity overalls, noting she’s managed to keep them spotless as well.  She hates overalls and thinks she must look like a denim hot air balloon, but Kara seemed so excited after she bought them, Lena had to wear them at least once. She silently curses, mourning the missed opportunity to “accidentally” ruin the overalls with paint. _Why didn’t I think of that before?_   After a moment, Lena’s face brightens with a flash, remembering the small white box on the top shelf of the baby’s closet

“Hey, Kar? I made something for the baby’s room that I want you to see. I planned to wait, but it’s so cool I want you to see it now. If that’s alright, I mean.”

Kara smiles slyly. “Well, well, well. This is interesting coming from the one who makes fun of me for always spilling the beans early.” She saunters over to Lena, wrapping her arms around her wife, peppering her cheeks with quick kisses.

Lena squeezes out of Kara’s arms, walking towards the closet where a ridiculous amount of tiny outfits already hang.  Even a few pink ones expressly approved by Lena. She floats up to the top shelf, grabbing the box. It’s not wrapped in paper, but has a yellow bow tied around it. She says nothing when she thrusts it into Kara’s outstretched hands, and Kara opens the box so quickly, Lena blinked her eyes repeatedly in surprise.

Kara turns the object slowly around in her hands. It’s just like a snow globe, only there’s nothing inside. No objects, no fake snow, nothing. At first, Kara is unsure what it is supposed to be, but notices a black switch at the bottom of the snowless snow globe.

“Wait, wait! Don’t flip the switch yet!” Lena scrambles over to the door of the nursery, slamming her hand on the light switch.  “Okay. Now close your eyes, turn it on, and set it down.  Don’t open your eyes until then. No cheating.”

Kara does as she’s told, and when she opens her eyes, she knows immediately what Lena has done. _Oh Rao._ A light from within the globe projects an array of stars and planets all around her on the walls and the ceiling.

“Do you recognize it, darling?”

“It’s what the sky looks like from Krypton. Or what it used to look like.” The red sun glows brightly on the ceiling, surrounded by familiar constellations she hadn’t seen or uttered the name of since her planet broke apart in fiery pieces.  She wipes quickly at her eyes, still turning in circles to note all the details.  “How did you do this, Lena?”

“I borrowed a lot of scientific literature from J’onn and that dreadfully annoying Daxamite that works at the DEO.  I tried to replicate it as best as I could. I’m sure it’s not perfect.”

“Don’t say that. It’s perfect. Incredible. I don’t even know what to say.”

“I want her to know as much as there is to know about her heritage, including your home. I wanted her to see the same stars you used to tell me were the brightest and most beautiful you’ve ever seen…”

Kara doesn’t let Lena continue, wrapping her wife in her arms and twirling her in the air. In a few seconds they’re both floating a few feet off the ground, dancing among the Kryptonian stars. They don’t need music. Lena softly hums Kara’s favorite Kryptonian song as she has countless times before.

* * *

 

The room is pitch black – the only light coming from the glow of their alarm clock on the night stand.  Kara’s been staring at it for hours, watching the minutes tick by one by one. She’s been staring at it so long she swears she can hear the digital clock tick even though it doesn’t make any noise. The other constant sound is Lena’s slow, steady breath. Given the size of her belly, Lena can no longer comfortably sleep on her back.  She’s always on her side curled up next to Kara, sometimes facing her, sometimes at her back – but never touching.  Kara had given up trying to spoon her weeks ago, after Lena complained she was way too hot to be touched by Kara _or_ Harry Pupper while trying to sleep.

Lena is on top of the comforter, curled in a fetal position in a short, silk maternity night gown that allowed her to stay cooler than normal pajamas. Kara is glad Lena is facing her tonight. It gives her something to admire while she battles with insomnia and unpleasant thoughts. Kara softly rubs Lena’s belly, whispering quietly to their child. She feels guilty when she sees Lena’s eyes flutter slightly at her touch. Kara didn’t mean to wake her. She usually sleeps right through Kara’s conversations with the baby.  

Lena looks around, slightly confused.  “Darling, what’s keeping you up? Was I snoring? I’m sorry.”

“No, no. Nothing like that. I was just…I was thinking.

“About what?” Lena’s hands rub absent-mindedly up and down Kara’s arms, her eyes still working hard to remain open, her face scrunched up in tired confusion. 

“We haven’t decided on a name.”

Lena clears her throat. “Right.”

“I just… I wish we could name her Allura like my mother.  We always agreed a girl would be.  But I can’t imagine using it now. We gave that name to a baby your mother stole from us.  I just can’t pretend like she didn’t exist and give her name away, you know? She was real. She was supposed to be ours.”

Kara sits up, burying her face in her hands in a mixture of frustration and sadness. Lena follows, albeit much slower. Though the baby makes her float and have heat vision, she still hasn’t overcome the slow, labored movements of a woman carrying the equivalent of a heavy watermelon on her stomach.  Kara lovingly makes fun of Lena’s waddle, while Lena pretends to be angry about it.

Lena sits up next to her wife and gently pulls Kara’s hands from her face, wrapping them in her own.  “I understand completely. You have every right to feel this way, and I support anything you choose.  God knows I have no women in my family I want to name my child after. But don’t forget, you’re surrounded by a galaxy of strong women who will be wonderful examples for our baby.”

“Like Eliza. Or Alex.”

“Exactly.”

“What about Elizabeth Alexandra?”

Lena turns to her belly, resting one hand on each side. “What do you think Baby D? Do _you_ like Elizabeth Alexandra?”  A perfectly timed kick pressed against her right hand, both startling her and making her laugh. “I think that’s a yes, mommy!”

Kara places each of her hands next to Lena’s, feeling their child move.  The baby often moves more frequently when they’re speaking. Kara likes to think the baby enjoys the sound of their voices. She may have even read that in one of the many pregnancy books her and Lena have devoured in the last few months, but she’s not sure. They’ve all kind of melted together at this point.

Kara puts her face next to Lena's belly.  "Ok, but my one rule is we can't call you Eliza. That's my mom's nickname and you need your own."

Lena immediately starts spouting off options. "Liz! Eli! Beth! Ooh I like Beth. It let's her be named after your mother but also have her own completely separate identity."

"Beth Alexandra Danvers. It sounds perfect."

"Who do you think will cry harder when we tell them - your mom or Alex?"

"Alex for SURE. She'll run to her office first so we don't see, but I'll hear her anyway."

Lena softly giggles into her pillow, already falling back asleep. 

 

* * *

The next morning Lena waddles over to her desk, slowly easing into her tall black leather chair. As she turns to face her computer screen, she notices an ivory envelope sitting on her keyboard.  She knows immediately it's from Kara just by the way her name is written on the outside. That and the envelope isn't sealed. Just like all envelopes from Kara. She hates the way envelope glue tastes and refuses to lick them.  Despite Lena buying her a 12 pack of envelope moisteners and a box of new fangled peel and stick envelopes, she still just tucks the flap inside old fashioned envelopes every time.

She pulls the letter out. The paper is thick and textured, the words on it handwritten in black fountain pen. 

_Good morning my love,_

_I hope you aren't too tired, and Beth isn't giving you too much trouble.  I heard her practically doing flips before you left._

_I had Jess order your favorite breakfast from that place down the street, it will be delivered soon._

_I'm still in awe of your thoughtful gift, and can't imagine ever giving you anything as wonderful. Though you must know I plan to try._

_Meet me on the balcony at noon. Don't be late._

_All my love,_

_Kara_

Lena laughs loudly. She knew Kara would try to one up her by gifting something spectacular.  Kara can't help herself.  Knowing she'll be taking a long lunch, Lena plows quickly through her inbox - delegating tasks, approving revised contracts, even fending off annoying press inquiries about L Corp's latest defense project. She's so efficient she hardly notices Jess drop off her breakfast, or the subtle contractions in her abdomen. She's felt contractions before the ones the books refer to as Braxton Hicks. They don't mean anything, they're just a part of the late stages of pregnancy. They usually stopped after an hour or so. This time they haven't. Instead they slowly grow in intensity and frequency. By the time Kara lands with a thud on the balcony, Lena knows. 

Not even bothering to open the glass door to the balcony, Lena sits frozen to her chair and firmly tells her wife all she needs to know. "We need Alex. Now." 

 


	11. Beth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beth makes her debut. 
> 
> Sorry it’s taken me so long, a lot of life changes since the last update. Thank you for waiting so patiently.

  
**“Vulnerability is the only authentic state. Being vulnerable means being open, for wounding, but also for pleasure. Being open to the wounds of life means also being open to the bounty and beauty. Don’t mask or deny your vulnerability: it is your greatest asset. Be vulnerable: quake and shake in your boots with it. the new goodness that is coming to you, in the form of people, situations, and things can only come to you when you are vulnerable.”**  
**~ Stephen Russell**

  
Although she’s loathe to admit it to herself - and god forbid anyone else - Lena is scared for the first time in a long time. Not of the pain. Not of the potential damage to her body. None of that matters. Lena is scared for Beth. Sure, babies are born early all the time. Kryptonian babies out of human mothers on the other hand, Lena’s pretty sure that has never happened before. A month early is probably nothing considering all the other clinically abnormal factors at play, but still. It’s the what ifs that weigh heavy on her chest, distracting her from the monumental task ahead. She closes her eyes, focusing on her breathing, just like she and Kara practiced. In and out. In and out. So deep she can’t take in any more air, and then out so slowly she can count to 5.

  
Lena’s thoughts are intrusive, and unending. She’s so aware of them that she’s angry at herself for letting them ruin what should be the most beautiful day of their lives.  
_What if._  
_What if._  
_What if._

  
What if something’s already wrong? What if something goes wrong in labor? What if the books didn’t prepare her for everything? What if Beth doesn’t find comfort in her arms? What if Beth cries endlessly and neither Lena nor Kara decipher what she needs?

  
Lena’s mind spins through her anxieties so quickly and overwhelmingly she doesn’t notice how nervous Kara is pacing in the corner, willing Alex to return to the room faster. She barely notices the contractions are getting closer.

  
Once Lena exhausts herself thinking of all possibilities for Beth, her thoughts move to fears she’s buried much, much deeper. What if she doesn’t know how to be a mother? What if her own mother’s vileness has somehow soiled her despite a lifetime of fighting it with everything she has? Lena could never forgive herself if she for one second made her daughter feel as insignificant as Lillian made her feel growing up. The mere thought makes her nauseous, the doubts Good thing Alex is returning with a cocktail of drugs. _God, Alex. Hurry the fuck up_.

  
Lena’s mother is here in this building right this moment. Many floors below, but in the building all the same. Undoubtedly her burned scalp still giving her trouble, and still causing her mother to seeth in anger. The woman who called their unborn child a travesty is here, and Lena can’t stand it. She immediately wishes Lillian was far, far away. Preferably another planet. Or even another galaxy. That could have been arranged. _It should have been arranged._ She wants Lillian gone, as if Beth could catch something from her mere presence somewhere in the depths of the DEO. She’d promised she wouldn’t waste any more emotional energy that would be better put to use loving Kara and Beth. But here she is. Lillian must go. Out of this building and out of Lena’s mind.

  
The worry is etched on Lena’s face plain as day, snapping Kara back to her side. “Heeeey, hey.” She takes Lena’s hands in her own, and squeezes them. “Love, everything’s fine. I promise.”

  
“Lillian. Make J’onn get her out of here. As far as possible. Please. I should have thought of this before, I don’t know what I was thinking. Just...please.” Kara understands why Lena needs this without any explanation. She’s angry with herself for not thinking of it first. For failing to make her wife comfortable and safe on the biggest day of their lives.  
“I’ll have it taken care of. I’ll fling her into space if I have to, you know I will.” Kara winks, hoping more than anything to hear her wife’s laugh. All she gets is a tiny, worried smile.

* * *

  
Beth is a perfect fusion of her parents – Kara’s complexion and smile, but with eyes so bright green that they mirror Lena’s perfectly. It looks rather shocking, since all the books said most babies’ eyes are a cloudy grey in the beginning. Beth doesn’t have much hair, but the hair that’s there is dark blonde. Some babies don’t get their dark hair until later, so who knows what will happen. But it doesn’t matter. Beth is perfect and healthy, and nothing else matters. The moment Beth was placed in Lena’s arms all she could think was thank you. _Thank you_. As usual she doesn’t know who she was thanking, because she’s still not sure there is a god. But whatever in the universe allowed her to be this perfect being’s mother deserves thanks.

  
Lena was sweaty and tired, but Kara had never seen anyone more beautiful. Lena was glowing. She’s perfect. Just like you. To the surprise of no one, they both cried. So did Alex. There was a DEO pool going about who would cry first, and Winn won with a bet on all three, immediately. There was a lot of hugs, and a lot of tears.  
It’s quiet now, with the steady stream of visitors now over. First Eliza, then Maggie, and the rest of the DEO all together. Alex never left the room – her eyes glued to the monitors, constantly checking vitals for Lena and the baby. Maggie had never seen her wife so stressed. But now there’s finally quiet, The only sound in the room is the steady shuffle of Kara’s footsteps, and her trembling voice.

  
Kara’s voice is uncharacteristically low, humming the Kryptonian lullaby she hadn’t heard her mother sing in many years – every note still seared deep into the recesses of her memory. Though she knew she’d never forget it as long as she lived, she never thought the song would escape her lips. It had always been a painful reminder of moments lost long ago to a fiery end. Held tight in her mother’s embrace, light spilling through the floor to ceiling windows of their warm home making her mother’s hair shine like a dark sun. Inhaling deeply to savor the smell of her mother’s sweet perfume. She thought that melody died with her entire family. With her planet.

  
But this moment changes everything. With Beth sleeping in her arms for the first time, Kara knows she must resign herself to the fact that her own heart now lives outside of her body. Her heart is in this tiny face, scrunched up and red. In that tiny, quick heartbeat that she’s already memorized. In these tiny fingers wrapped around her thumb, holding on tightly. In these gorgeous tiny eyelashes fluttering ever so slightly. Kara is so in awe of the magnificent creation staring back at her that the abnormal grip strength enveloping her thumb doesn’t even register.

  
She’s walking in circles around the special maternity room Alex had built out in DEO headquarters right after Lena’s pregnancy was confirmed. Kara rocks her arms ever so slightly in an effort to keep Beth comfortable and sleeping. Lena is asleep sitting halfway up in the hospital bed, her head tilted to the side and her dark hair spilling across the pillow. It’s Lena’s first real sleep in over 28 hours. Though her labor wasn’t long (half-Kryptonian babies mean business), at first she couldn’t bear to nap for fear of missing something. Lena’s eyes were glued to Beth from the moment she was born, memorizing every little detail of her beautiful face.

  
Deviating from the path she’s been repeatedly walking to keep Beth asleep, Kara steps over to the rocking chair in the corner. J’onn brought it from the nursery – along with the hello sunshine pillow – thinking that a bit of home would help Kara and Lena adjust to their first moments as parents. As soon as Kara sits, Beth stirs. Her arms wiggle against the thick blanket she’s swaddled in, and she begins to whimper.

  
A smile slowly spreads across Kara’s face. “You don’t have to be afraid. I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here. I promise.” Feet away, Lena stirs in her sleep, a slight grimace etched into her face. The white sheets are knotted in her fists.

* * *

 

It’s their first real fight, and it comes a month into their engagement. Their first fight that isn’t about who ate the last potsticker, whose turn it is to pick the board game for game night, or whether Dottie dropped the ball on purpose. They’re both standing in the kitchen, on opposite sides of the island. Lena is bracing herself with a wide grip on the counter, staring intently at one particularly large dark spot in the granite. Lena knows damn well Kara heard exactly what she just said. Predictably, Kara is pretending she can’t hear something she doesn’t want to hear.

  
“W-what?” Lena can’t bear to meet Kara’s gaze, but she can tell by her shaking whisper that her face is definitely betraying how shocked and broken Kara must feel inside. The tone of Kara’s voice makes Lena nauseated, and she has to fight hard to swallow the lump in her throat.

  
Without looking up, Lena answers in the most even, robotic tone she can muster. “I know you heard me. We can’t get married.” The more time passes without a response, the farther Lena’s face falls, until her chin is almost tucked into her chest.

  
“No. NO! Why are you saying this? You don’t mean it. You can’t even look at me. LOOK AT ME!” Kara’s fists slam into the counter with more force than she intended, sending small cracks spidering out from the point of impact. Lena flinches and turns her face upwards, revealing bright green eyes flooding with tears. Her body aches to close down the space between them and take back every word with kisses, but she can’t. She mustn’t.

  
Lena swallows slowly. “We can’t do this. We shouldn’t do this. I-I’m…I’m a liability for you.” The hot tears spill down her cheeks and she hastily attempts to wipe them away with her favorite sweatshirt. _Get it together, Luthor. You have to do this. For her._

  
It’s Kara that closes the distance between them…so quickly Lena’s hair flutters in the wind Kara’s movement creates. Lena winces as Kara’s hands come to rest on each side of her face, Kara’s thumbs brushing away the tears still rolling from her eyes.  “What the hell are you talking about Lena? Where is this coming from?”

Without wanting to, Lena leans her cheek into Kara’s hand. As always Kara’s presence is magnetic to her. She can’t help wanting to touch her.

Lena clears her throat, desperately hoping the lump making its home there and choking her voice will disappear. “My association with you has already drawn undue attention from Cadmus. It’s only a matter of time before something terrible happens. Either to me or you.”  Kara’s face is so close to Lena’s – her hot, frantic breaths making Lena’s skin warm. Lena can’t avoid Kara’s intense stare any longer, and knows it’s a matter of time before she crumbles.

  
“Lena, sweetheart. You have to know this is ridiculous. If you have doubts or you’re scared, it’s okay. But we can’t live our lives avoiding this. Living without you isn’t living at all. I’d rather have you no matter the risk to me. I don’t care. I don’t care!”

  
The tears spill down Lena’s cheeks, wetting Kara’s fingers as they fall.  “My mother. She’ll kill you or die trying. I fucking know it. Once she finds out….” A sob escapes Lena’s lips, and once it does she can’t stop. Whatever is left of the wall holding back her emotions is obliterated by the thought of something happening to Kara because of her. She knows her mother. Lillian will not stand by and watch her daughter marry an alien. Even a daughter she doesn’t love, and probably never has.

* * *

  
  
“Babe wake up. It’s okay, you’re okay.” Kara’s hands shake Lena’s shoulders gently, eager to rouse her from whatever terror haunts her dreams. Lena’s eyes shoot open with a gasp, and she bolts up, her eyes frantically searching for Beth.

  
“She’s right here, it’s ok.” Kara gestures to the rolling baby bed cart Alex “borrowed” from the National City NICU. Sure enough, she’s there – tightly swaddled like a burrito. A very beautiful burrito. Still fast asleep. Lena let’s out the breath she’s been holding.

  
“I set her down when I noticed you were having a nightmare. Tell me what’s wrong. What was it?” Kara slides into bed next to Lena, wrapping her arms tightly around her wife. Lena immediately nestles into Kara’s firm shoulder.

  
“Remember the day you broke the kitchen counter? I dreamt of that day.” Pangs of regret hit Lena in the chest. They haven’t spoken of that day since.

  
Kara’s cheeks burn. She hoped they’d never need to talk about that day again. Just thinking about it makes her feel like her stomach is falling out of her body. She grips Lena a little bit tighter.

  
“You don’t need to think about that. We’re almost to our third anniversary, for Rao’s sake. We’re okay. Sure, the DEO hasn’t completely wiped out Cadmus like we planned, but we’re okay! Lillian and Hank Henshaw are in DEO custody, and there’s no immediate threats.”

  
“I know, I know, I just can’t help but think about how we just brought a baby into the world with a giant target on her back. I was so happy – we were so happy to be pregnant we didn’t even think….”

  
Kara doesn’t respond immediately, because Lena’s right. That’s exactly what they’ve done. Their only saving grace is that for now, there’s no one powerful enough to take aim. But the target is here all the same.

  
Kara wiggles her arm out from underneath Lena’s body, and gets up. Lena’s grateful heart aches when she realizes what Kara is doing. Kara comes back to the bed with the baby in her arms, and deftly manages to get back in bed. Both women lay on their sides to make room for the baby between them. Lena strokes Beth’s hair gently, and a smile escapes the corner of her mouth despite her worry.

  
For a moment, the only sound is the three Danvers women breathing, huddled tightly together. It’s Kara who breaks the silence. “Elizabeth Alexandra Danvers, your mommies are going to protect you. You don’t need to be scared. We’ll always be here.”

  
Lena’s heart is overwhelmed. She never thought she could love anything as much as she loves the tiny little girl next to her. It weighs heavy on her chest, and she feels like her heart could burst. She silently wonders if it was selfish to bring this baby into the world. If it was, she doesn’t care.

 

 


End file.
